I don't think 'yer ready 'fer sum footbawl.

Points to anyone that get's the entry names reference.

Here in Alabuttfuckbama it's an odd place.. There's a literal law prohibiting sex in any position other than the missionary because naturally all of us are Christians and certainly not Godless heathens, used to they wouldn't sell alcohol on Sundays ( That was only recently changed ) and the average hill-billy hick up here seems to rank about .50 on the IQ scale and thinks that's pretty good because hey, that them there's two numbers 'anda dot. Them's must be 'sum good learnin' they dun did. To say this place is a godforsaken cesspool would be an insult to a godforsaken cesspool, I question if anything would change if the eventual Fallout-esque nuclear apocalypse befell this state.. Maybe Jimbob over there might mutate an arm out his forehead which might be pretty awesome for him because then he's got one closer to his mouth to drizzle the beer in.. I digress, though. I don't hate this place as much as I sound like I do and there are some pretty decent people around, not many but some.. Though I will say this, Alabama's general obsession with football is something I will never speak positively of. Bluntly, it's Deliverance creepy. They're about as obsessed with football as Mercy was with the idea that that motherfuck in her bed was not leaving. Hobbling much, anyone? That's why last night when I entered the local Wal-Mart for our weekly shopping-trip I was both horrified and impressed by the display that stood before me.

Yes, it's a big picture. It's a BIG GODDAMN DISPLAY. GODDAMN SON. These rednecks do NOT fuck around when it comes to football, I mean who the hell was the poor sap they wrangled into putting this display together? It's both impressive and horrifying, does this solidify the claims that working for Wal-Mart is akin to slavery, that you can literally be owned by this terrifyingly powerful corporate entity? Shit.. I'd think so.. I'd be scared as piss of the man ( or forbid, woman ) that actually wanted to spend the time stacking coke boxes up to build this shit.. Maybe while they built it they were downing soda's from discarded boxes by the second, that would explain the obsessive energy seen in this thing. Does obsessive even cut it? I feel like we've reached some mutant form of obsession with this display like obsessively obsessive compulsive football fetish disorder... OBSESSIVE... This shit barely fit in my camera, what are they going to do when some asshole inevitably comes around and starts a trend of playing Jenga with this display? Sooner or later some kid's going to die in an avalanche of carbonated beverag... Wait.. Scratch that, that's awesome.. The head lines read "Soda Pressing: Child Killed By Wal-Mart Display".. Yeah, there may be something to that.. Note to self, start giant game of Jenga with disturbing yet impressive display of Alabamian Football Worship.

You know the sad thing? I suspect something like this would survive the apocalypse in a situation where nothing else did so the next civilization/people up will only have this to go by as a way of knowing how we once lived and whom we once were. Yeah, that's a great thought.. Maybe in hindsight I do actually hate this place as much as I sound like I do, though that might just be the veins nearing bursting limit against my brDSAGwfweac23