Criminal Cereals of the Past 2 & a Savoury Soaked Sandwich

I enjoyed the last article I did about Criminal Cereals of the Past and so I've decided to do another.. Half because I know I'll enjoy it and half because I'm just a pathetic person whose best memories in life have to do with junk food, man.. How did I ever end up as fit and active as I am today with a past filled with sooo much sugary crap? The world may never know.. Some how though I became the health conscious person I am today and so today I reflect upon the terrible cereals I once knew and some I once loved and bring you along with me; shall we dance?


#1
General Mills Powdered Donutz Cereal:

GODDOMMOT GONOROLMOLLS!! This is the second post starting with you, why are you such a frequent repeat perpetrator of cereal criminality? Just take the full on plunge, General Mills. You've been making shit like this since 1928, why not just go on and create the inevitable cereal known as "Type 2 Chocolate Frosted Powdered Crashers with special insulin premium inside FREE!" because that's basically what most of these cereals anyone ate from the 1980s to 90s were.. Hell even some of them today kind of skim the border. I'm not saying they're bad... No, wait.. Yes, I'm saying they're bad for you but not that they taste bad. This is a cereal made after fried rings of dough covered in enough powdered sugar to plow your ass through a wall from the incredible sugar rush you gain eating just one and it's supposed to be for breakfast. What. The. Fuck? These actually tasted really fucking good as should be expected, the rule still remains after all; you can't make something this bad for you and have it taste like shite. It's too illogical. I was only graced to have a single box or two of these back in the past before they were evidently completely discontinued to be lost to the deep recesses of time but I will confirm; they tasted good, they were absolute garbage for you, and yes.. They tasted like powdered doughnuts surprisingly enough.. They are criminal for being inconceivably bad for you.

#2
General Mills Sprinkle Sprangles:

Along side Hidden Treasures was released Springle Sprangles in the 1990s, like Hidden Treasures Springle Sprangles holds the rare honour of being a criminal cereal whose criminal charge is being too damn good for something so goddamned bad and having vanished on us for no apparent reason by 1995. It's not fucking fair. Also the goddamn Genie was voiced by Dom DeLuis (Same guy that voiced Itchy Itchaford, Charlie's best friend, sidekick and later partner in business from All Dogs Go To Heaven) - What the hell was it about this cereal that was so damned good? I think there was crack cocaine in those sprinkles, in fact I'm 99% certain thinking back on their catch phrase that they "Spangled every angle with sprinkles.", yeah.. I bet you did guys, I bet you did. Thanks for the scares I had with diabeeetusssss, that's great emotional development for a kid. Springle Sprangles, god.. What to say about them? They were delicious and they were great because once you'd finished with the cereal the bottom of the box always had this wonderful epic diabetus dust (yes, I know I'm spelling it wrong. Blame Wilford Brimley.) which consisted of the tiniest most sand-like remnants of the cereal, the sprinkles and random sugar. God... It was delicious and still to this day that remains my favourite  part of any cereal is when the box is finally empty enough to relinquish the delicious diabetus dust at the bottom.. Oh yeah.. I'm weird but a good kinda weird.. You know you love it too.

Dinner tonight.. Eh.. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I was pretty proud of it at first but I'm kind of confused. I thought it'd blow his socks off but James said it was "really really good" which I guess is something but not quite the enthusiasm I had hoped for. Admittedly it was something I've never cooked before so I'm not sure if it came out quite as good as it could have.. Perhaps the meal requires some refining.. Nevertheless I was pleased enough with it at least to want to post about it and so I shall.

The meal is Nippon rosuto gyuniku (Japanese Roast-Beef) and is basically a Japanese/Asian roast beef sandwich. I baked the bun myself (my own dough of course made by my own hands) and it came out quite nicely looking rather perfect (flawless in fact), the juices of the gyuniku (beef) were all marinated over a course of twenty four hours into a super savoury broth and then the meat itself which had marinated raw was cooked in the mixture enhancing the flavour, a special Japanese Ginger Mayonnaise made and added to both sides of the bun and then the meat added and juices gently washed over the bun to drench it and allow the sandwich itself to rest in the juices, soaking them up. For sides there were three, the usual Anpan which was a mix of Strawberries and Mixed Berries, Ume no raisu purin (Plum Rice Pudding) and as a special side Jagaimosuraisu (Potato Slices) which are basically french fries - Apparently James really liked the juices from the gyuniku because I did notice that he used the Jagaimosuraisu to mop up with and ate the juices on them. Rather good idea, I thought.

All in all not bad.. Leaves me something to shoot for, of course I knew one of these nights I'd end up not getting the enthusiasm I was shooting for but you know what they say. If at first you do not succeed, try, try again and try again I shall. Sooner or later that coveted response of enthusiasm at the first bite, that look where the eyes light up and that description that has eluded me will be uttered. Then oh how sweet will my pleasure be.. Oh indeed..

Second photograph brought to you by A Cat Made a Sammich!©

And as a stinger, might I point out;

Really? Last Months page views in October? Too good.