An Early Halloween PART 13; Heinous Halloween Hi-Jinx &

So I'm in kind of a foul mood again, I'm not necessarily angry.. Well.. No, I'm angry.. Evidently every new tenant in our apartment complex aside from a nice couple downstairs are of the opinion that they should be incredibly rude and offensive and have taken to juvenile behaviour screwing with people around the complex some of who include myself.. They've been literally 'picking on' us like we're back in high-school and once worse they're only picking on people who are different, I.E me for the fact that I practice Martial Arts and another poor fella out there because he's a little slow (although with most people like him he makes up for any perceived deficiency with his shining personality and the fact that he's a really great and friendly guy.) and I think now less than the fact that they're picking on me.. Cause that's fine, I can defend myself.. It's the fact that they're picking on him that pisses me off most.. Anyway.. I'm also feeling depressed since Halloween is basically my favourite Holiday.. My own Birthday counted, Halloween might beat it out on a scale of favourites and I'm thinking.. Things are looking like my Halloween is going to consist of sitting at home probably doing nothing.. Possibly alone.. So I really need to try and cheer up between the anger and depression.. Enough about my problems, let's get into a Halloween themed attempt at cheer. More shit I've dug up having to do with Halloween, more awesome shit that makes me glad to still be around and makes me hope for the future.. Hope that maybe there's something to look forward to down the line so let's work on cheering up the bad mood and begin with our first item on the agenda;


#1
Palmers Cookies n' Scream mix:

Interestingly I've had these before, I don't remember when to the T but I know it was when I was still trick-or-treating so I was pretty young.. Sadly as we grow older trick-or-treating becomes one of those things that for some odd reason in spite of everything is not acceptable, I've never understood it.. Why can a kid dress up and walk door to door for candy but I can't? Seriously, what's so wrong about celebrating the Holiday as well? Whatever... That's the world sadly so I don't get any free candy on Halloween which makes me very sad now.. Nevertheless.. These I remember as being particularly good, Palmers has a reputation for making some really tasty candy and these are no exception. Little chocolates with chunks of cookie melded in, what's not to love? These are seriously good and well worth finding in your Halloween sack or just buying for yourself if you can't go trick-or-treating like me and can afford them unlike me. 

#2
Minty Maggots:

 So here we have something pretty cool and although usually I detest mint, I mean HATE, HATE, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! mint these are novelty and I can forgive them being mint because they are so novel. Not only are they shaped like maggots but they also have the great catch-phrase "causes puking AND  freshens breath AT THE SAME TIME!" - Awesome. Nothing more needs to be said about these, that's just way too cool.

#3
Zombie: Eat Flesh

 Yeah okay, it's not food and it's not candy, it's a T-Shirt. I'm not even going to bother really writing about this because honestly it speaks for itself, how awesome is it? I mean truly, how awesome is this? I want this shirt, you know you want it too and you can have it too by visiting this link 

Don't say I never found you nothin' nice.

#4
Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat:

Yeah, this one.. This is the best for last segment, this is just epic. This is not just any product, not a candy and not a shirt, no.. Oh no.. This is Unicorn Meat - You know as well as I do that this shit would elicit the most amazing double-take from anyone who happened upon it in your cabinets or even glanced upon it in passing, I mean come on.. Look for crying out loud;

Sitting amidst your other cans it's seemingly harmless and normal appearing at first glance to be a can of Spam. WAIT UNICORN SPAM, WHAT!? And you know it'll work like that! It's like leaving Spotted Dick out, it's a definite and sure-fire conversation starter. Spotted dick for it's name and the fact that Americans are largely unfamiliar with it and Unicorn Meat because it's.. Well.. Unicorn Meat.. And gods this stuff is magical. You may be asking, what precisely is inside the can, Jade? Well my friend, for that we go to a diagram provided to us by Radiant Farms!

As you can see illustrated above, what's inside the can is an approximation of Unicorn goodness consisting of Dreams, Magic, Wishes, Giggles, Smiles, Rainbows (in his pants), Stars, Happiness, Kisses, Superglue (you didn't expect something special made Superglue Super? Come on.), Love, Sunshine, Surprises and Hopes.

In truth what's inside is pretty amusing;

I truly approve of this. In spite of being a girl and loving cute things, not wanting to see Unicorns murdered and having a soft spot for them, this is awesome. This is just so Halloween that I adore it and the Unicorn is cute in that macabre Addams Family sort of way. Unicorn Meat is just too cool and I'd love to be able to carry this to my lunch in school.

Rhyme over and my readers preparing to strangle me, let's segue to dinner;

ASSAFDGSHFSHSASFAS I DID IT!!! YES! I fucking shot for it again and for the second time in a row I achieved enthusiasm from James! I AM RIDING ON CLOUD FUCKING NINE X'S 2 AND I'M FEELING SO GOOD I'M EVEN GOING TO TRY SHOOTING FOR A THIRD TIME! Inspiration flows like a goddamn fountain when I'm hitting my strides like this. I know I'll slip up sooner or later and one of my dinners won't achieve the desired result but I'm going to keep trying and keep trying and continue this winning streak as long as I can. WINNING! Speaking of winning, what was the winning dish tonight? Beriorenji Dorayaki (Berry Orange Grilled Gong, a Japanese variation of Pancakes);

Basically the dish consists of the Dorayaki (the pancakes or as they translate 'grilled gong'), there are two of them and between the two is a generous helping of Anko (Sweet Red Bean Paste) on top of the Dorayaki was a dollop of satsumaimomasshu (Sweet potato mash) and on top of that was the sauce; Orenjisosu (Orange Sauce) made with actual oranges and sweetened with a little bit of honey and lemon flavour and an added small base of milk. This was some seriously good sauce in my opinion. James' too apparently because these motherfuckers was gone in moments and he remarked with ACTUAL ENTHUSIASM that it was "GREAT!" - YES, DEAR GOD YES. I GOT ENTHUSIASM AGAIN AND SOME SERIOUS FUCKING ENTHUSIASM. GODS DO YOU KNOW HOW HIGH I COULD TOUCH RIGHT NOW? How high I am off this fucking adrenaline rush and YES I have an adrenaline rush. I'm full of feel good chemicals right now, oh my god. I haven't felt like this in ages and THIS is why I shoot so high and try so hard constantly to gain that enthusiasm. Every meal can't be a winner like this but this one THIS ONE was and I'm riding it like a wave of endorphins straight to the golden lined recesses of heaven! Motherfucking ♪♫SuuuuUuuuUuuurrrGGgggEeEeee♪♫

Second photograph brought to you by AWESOME MEAL DOMINATES YOUR SOUL!©