Palmers Cookies n' Scream mix:
Interestingly I've had these before, I don't remember when to the T but I know it was when I was still trick-or-treating so I was pretty young.. Sadly as we grow older trick-or-treating becomes one of those things that for some odd reason in spite of everything is not acceptable, I've never understood it.. Why can a kid dress up and walk door to door for candy but I can't? Seriously, what's so wrong about celebrating the Holiday as well? Whatever... That's the world sadly so I don't get any free candy on Halloween which makes me very sad now.. Nevertheless.. These I remember as being particularly good, Palmers has a reputation for making some really tasty candy and these are no exception. Little chocolates with chunks of cookie melded in, what's not to love? These are seriously good and well worth finding in your Halloween sack or just buying for yourself if you can't go trick-or-treating like me and can afford them unlike me.
So here we have something pretty cool and although usually I detest mint, I mean HATE, HATE, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! mint these are novelty and I can forgive them being mint because they are so novel. Not only are they shaped like maggots but they also have the great catch-phrase "causes puking AND freshens breath AT THE SAME TIME!" - Awesome. Nothing more needs to be said about these, that's just way too cool.
Zombie: Eat Flesh
Yeah okay, it's not food and it's not candy, it's a T-Shirt. I'm not even going to bother really writing about this because honestly it speaks for itself, how awesome is it? I mean truly, how awesome is this? I want this shirt, you know you want it too and you can have it too by visiting this link
Don't say I never found you nothin' nice.
Radiant Farms Canned Unicorn Meat:
Yeah, this one.. This is the best for last segment, this is just epic. This is not just any product, not a candy and not a shirt, no.. Oh no.. This is Unicorn Meat - You know as well as I do that this shit would elicit the most amazing double-take from anyone who happened upon it in your cabinets or even glanced upon it in passing, I mean come on.. Look for crying out loud;
In truth what's inside is pretty amusing;
Rhyme over and my readers preparing to strangle me, let's segue to dinner;
ASSAFDGSHFSHSASFAS I DID IT!!! YES! I fucking shot for it again and for the second time in a row I achieved enthusiasm from James! I AM RIDING ON CLOUD FUCKING NINE X'S 2 AND I'M FEELING SO GOOD I'M EVEN GOING TO TRY SHOOTING FOR A THIRD TIME! Inspiration flows like a goddamn fountain when I'm hitting my strides like this. I know I'll slip up sooner or later and one of my dinners won't achieve the desired result but I'm going to keep trying and keep trying and continue this winning streak as long as I can. WINNING! Speaking of winning, what was the winning dish tonight? Beriorenji Dorayaki (Berry Orange Grilled Gong, a Japanese variation of Pancakes);
Basically the dish consists of the Dorayaki (the pancakes or as they translate 'grilled gong'), there are two of them and between the two is a generous helping of Anko (Sweet Red Bean Paste) on top of the Dorayaki was a dollop of satsumaimomasshu (Sweet potato mash) and on top of that was the sauce; Orenjisosu (Orange Sauce) made with actual oranges and sweetened with a little bit of honey and lemon flavour and an added small base of milk. This was some seriously good sauce in my opinion. James' too apparently because these motherfuckers was gone in moments and he remarked with ACTUAL ENTHUSIASM that it was "GREAT!" - YES, DEAR GOD YES. I GOT ENTHUSIASM AGAIN AND SOME SERIOUS FUCKING ENTHUSIASM. GODS DO YOU KNOW HOW HIGH I COULD TOUCH RIGHT NOW? How high I am off this fucking adrenaline rush and YES I have an adrenaline rush. I'm full of feel good chemicals right now, oh my god. I haven't felt like this in ages and THIS is why I shoot so high and try so hard constantly to gain that enthusiasm. Every meal can't be a winner like this but this one THIS ONE was and I'm riding it like a wave of endorphins straight to the golden lined recesses of heaven! Motherfucking ♪♫SuuuuUuuuUuuurrrGGgggEeEeee♪♫
Second photograph brought to you by AWESOME MEAL DOMINATES YOUR SOUL!©