FEATURED POSTS

FEATURED POSTS

Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

Wonka Ice Cream Review!




Monday, November 21, 2011

Discontinued Delights 3 & Concise Chicken

So many products, so little time. From cookies to fruit snacks to snack cakes and candy bars, I think I've figured it out. I asked James recently 'Why do you suppose that everything I once loved from the past has been discontinued? It's very strange because it seems all of my favourite things are always discontinued and there's no real rhyme or reason to it.', he answered thus; 'It's probably because you are attracted and tend to love unusual things' - It's true, I love unusual things.

I love things that are fun, I love things that stand out, I love the movie tie-ins, the foods with gimmicks, holiday items and anything that's not just the average mundane because simply.. Well.. It's more fun than the average mundane. I may be an adult now but I shall live forever with a Peter Pan complex, I'll be eternally a child in my heart no matter how old I get and I firmly believe that with my Martial Arts and health-nut regiment that when I get to be about eighty I'm going to be the only Grandma in the world that can do back flips and break bricks. Fuck yeah, Kung Fu Granny. My tits might hang to the ground at that point but I'll be damned if I won't be able to use them as nunchaku to beat you to death with pillow-like flesh bags of doom. AND WITH THAT DISTURBING IMAGE AND SENTENCE WE'LL TARRY NO FURTHER AND GET INTO THE ACTUAL ARTICLE! Enjoy!

Nestle Vice Versas:
Okay here's something that's true in virtually every case, milk chocolate is delicious and white chocolate is delicious and two things that are delicious can only be delectable when you mix the two of them both together. Both milk and white chocolate in one bag and one snack!? You mad genius! What are you trying to do, create a paradoxical anomaly that will destroy the fabric of all space and time!? There will be gigawatts everywhere!  

Nestle Vice Versas were a brilliant mixture of dreamy milk chocolate in white candy shells and white chocolate in brown candy shells. If you ask me the white chocolate Vice Versas with the brown shells were the best, frankly I just love white chocolate and I don't care how unpopular that opinion makes me. Bite me you milk chocolate loyalist bastards. Vice Versas were fun because I don't hate milk chocolate, I like it, I just like white chocolate better. Having both in an equal amount? It's heavenly! These were discontinued, though! Duh since they're on the list but still! God damn it, Nestle. What the hell?!

Nestle Alpine White:
Mm! Mm! Mmmm! My god, Nestle Alpine White Chocolate Bar, what are we to say about you? How dreamily creamy and decadent you were! A candy bar of white chocolate with big, fat, crunchy and salty almonds inside of it (The almonds were even almost caramelized.), oh yes!

You know I'm a fan of white chocolate to begin with, add in the nutty goodness of almonds? Fuck all. Man that's brilliant, these were so good and I remember walking into the store the first day I ever found them, I was living in Florida at the time (Kissimmee) and had recently then found two dollars on the side of the road, partially in a dollar bill and partially in change, my first thought? Investing? Fuck that shit. It was a hot day, I was biking, the local gas station sold really cheap candy bars and I could afford a drink as well because they sold a certain off generic brand for less than a dollar. I could get something to snack on and drink at the same time, I wasn't investing this money, I was frivolously blowing it on something that would inevitably make me feel sick less than ten minutes later because my dumb ass wolfed it down.

So into the little store I go when in the corner what should I see? Three chocolate bars in a nearly empty rack that were wrapped in a beautiful white wrapper and even at this age and time in my life I knew what a white wrapper meant for a chocolate bar, there was a 95% chance that this chocolate bar was a white chocolate. I b-lined for the damn thing, grabbed it up and sure enough in my hand I held a Nestle Alpine White Chocolate Bar. I bought that bitch up unknowing that at this point it was already discontinued and what I had found was an increasing rarity and treasure, got my drink and headed out of the store. Later that afternoon I hurled but it was totally worth it because this white chocolate bar was so incredibly dreamily delicious and smooth... Down and coming back up..

Good times.. Good times.. I miss you, Alpine White. Your creamy white chocolaty deliciousness is needed today! Please return with your almond and ivory bounty.


Dinner: 

Tonight's dinner would be called Zusan'na Choob no sandoitchi w/ Himitsu no ikagen'na shoyu (Sloppy Choob Sandwich w/ Secret Sloppy Sauce - Choob, a shortened word created by yours truly meaning 'CHICKEN BOOOOOOOB!' and as a side note, you must make a claw with one hand while screaming 'CHICKEN BOOOOOB!' to say it properly. If you're wondering it's chicken breast but that's too mundane and boring to say.)

It all came out very nicely and was simple and to the point with a hand-made and personally baked bun, nicely grilled CHICKEN BOOOOOB!, two large mushrooms (inside the sandwich), a little cheese, a Japanese style secret sauce (Sorry, it's called 'Himitsu no ikagen'na shoyu' for a reason, I won't reveal the secret of it. It's the special part of this sandwich.) drizzled messily onto it all, two pieces of broccoli, an Anpan (Sweet Roll) and satsumaimofurenchifurai (Sweet Potato French Fries)

Was good but not quite as good as the previous sloppy sandwich as James said he prefers ground-beef over chicken but it was still a winner and he ate it damn fast considering what a beast it was.

Also appearance-wise while being extremely messy looking (and in fact being quite messy as a point) it was something that turned out nicely and I can be pretty happy about although it was difficult and messy to put together. The damned top bun did NOT want to stay on.


 Second photograph brought to you by Beastly Monster Sandwich Tamed!©

3 comments:

  1. I'LL NEVER GROW UP! *Peter Pan Pose*
    *...sudden urge to watch Peter Pan or Hook* Fff--
    OH MY GOD MY MENTAL CORNEAS!!! DDDDD>

    It'd sure make Marty's little incident a little less difficult. =x
    *hears line from Back to the Future playing over in head "WHAT THE HELL IS A GIGAWATT?!"*
    Those sound awesome though. BEYOND awesome... Name, while relevant, could use a bit more imagination though... Like... CONTRA-BITS... Iunno, something that sounds a little more edible. e_e

    Aw. =/
    White chocolate and Milk Chocolate are tied, imo. Depends on what I'm feeling more like having at the time.

    BOOBIES! *cough*
    Breast is a funny word~ :B
    Looks good but last/first time I tried a chicken burger, my taste-buds flipped out at me for putting chicken where they figured beef should be. -ended up eating a ton of spinach salad that night- =/

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG thank you for remembering Nestle White!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No kidding, Anonymous! God I wish I could have one right now! Mm! Thanks kindly for the comment, I truly appreciate it.

      Delete

COMMENTS ARE MODERATED AND WILL BE APPROVED WITHIN 24 HOURS OR LESS (almost always less) OF ENTRY; If you're abusive or obnoxious, your comment will be deleted without word. Being abusive and obnoxious is OUR job. Thanks.