Random Racism & Spiced Sakana!

(Translation Note: 'Sakana' means fish.)

It's great, from time to time we'll get products that are just wonderfully racist and they're not even trying to be. You know they're not trying to be because, well.. A company would have to be insane and self-destructive in this day and age to actually behave or market racially, they'd be torn apart by the media and consumer alike and rightfully so. I'm not a racist myself, I'm an equal opportunity hater. Blacks, whites, Mexicans, Latinos, and whatever else the fucked up mix or race may be, I'll hate you all if you act like douche-bags.

Thankfully we're not actually talking about hate here, we're talking about hilarity. Racism is funny because it's stupid, it's stupid especially if it's being taken seriously or someone is genuinely being racist because they themselves are proving their ignorance.. So please take a chill pill, sit back, relax and prepare to fill your vision with the funny fuck-ups of our corporate friends. All I have to say is way to go, guys. Foot bullet. That is all.


Kreme Krunch Kone:

The delightfully racist little mascot for Krispy Kreme Krunch, this little motherfucker is a vanilla ice-cream cone who sports a nice old-timey suit and represents a product whose shortened abbreviation is KKK - Need I say more? I realize it was 1965 when this cereal was released but that seems more of a reason to avoid the racist under-tones. Seriously, what were they thinking?

..Still though, that's great.

Oreo Barbie:

Hahaha, oh Nabisco. You rascal of a company, of course with Oreo's, a largely dark cookie the Barbie that represents it has gotta be a darkie herself. It only makes sense, I mean look. Those dark tones over-come and suppressed by the white over-tones around it and the fact that it's a black cookie? Come on, be reasonable.

..Is this supposed to suggest she's a Vigger since the cookie is black on the outside and white on the inside? (well blacks get to call whites wiggers so what's a black-person who acts white? If a whites a wigger then a blacks a vigger (vanilla nigger) oh my god, yes I said the N-word. Deal with it. It's said in jest.)


Quaker Life Cereal:

How did the marketing meeting for this cereal go exactly? Was your marketing by chance Uncle Ruckus of The Boondocks fame because that's the only conceivable reason or excuse I can think of or even begin to conceive for a company to do this and not realize or think it was a horrible idea. Here we've got nice vanilla Life Cereal and of course on it we're gonna have a nice little white mom and child and on the Maple & Brown Sugar? (ATTENTION: YOU WILL NOW READ THIS IN UNCLE RUCKUS' VOICE) DARK CEREAL FOR DARKIES! Be damned little heathen niglet chilren!

..Yea, I'm done. I'm going to get shot for this article, I know it.

Post Rice Krinkles:

Post Rice Krinkles cereal, introduced in the 1960s and the predecessor to Post Fruit Pebbles, that's their mascot; their rice-selling, squint eyed mascot named So-Hi complete with high-pitched Chinese accent and a hat which was actually a bowl of the cereal. Somehow I'm inclined to think the reason this cereal was discontinued in favour of Pebbles was somewhat obvious.. Then again, Fruity Pebbles was endorsed by Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble who would have gladly hawked your kids some nice cancer-sticks.

...Yep

Course while not racist the later commercial and mascot was no less worse and considerably more nightmare fuel. Great idea, Post. Let's have IT sell your fucking cereal. "The cereal floats in milk. We all float in milk down here."  
 


SOCKBAMA!:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA OH WOW. HAHAHAHA..

OH WOW...

Yeah.. Nothing more.. Sorry, can't form eloquent or meaningful speech. Laughing too hard. Dying of asphyxiation from laughter.. Must..wrhibonm ,n


And a couple of hours later after blacking out I finally come to and I have this;

Bonus:

Museums just became a whole lot more awesome.

"We're just starting off the World Cup here, folks and the score is currently zerOh... Shit.."

 

...Wow, really? ....Awesome

A great place to live translates to "90% Less Crime!" - I'm kidding of course.

And yet another good reason why Walgreens rocks.

Dinner:

Fuckin' A, again we have a perfect meal that I can't complain about at all. Check this shit out, right down to the colour of the main dish everything is perfect. This is Supaishina sakana itame (Spicy Fish Stir-fry) and well.. Although it was delicious I managed to under spice it and it didn't have much heat so I guess I can kind of complain about it.. FUCK OFF!

I always manage to either under spice or over spice my dishes when they're meant to be hot. It's goddamn vexing. James has a very weird 'in-between' state for spicy and it fucks with me, IT FUCKS WITH ME.

So pretty.

Side dishes of course were Anpan (Sweet Roll) and satsumaimomasshu with cinnamonbunmallows.

THIRD (Continued Luck!!) photograph brought to you by UnspicyDamnIt©