Curious Cuisine & Suuuper Stir-fry!

Oh man has some weird shit ever been made in the past. Products that range from the purely aberrant, to the purely asinine, and even to the purely awesome are all around and some are indeed epic as all shit. I've seen in my time many a strange and awe-inspiring things, some I've loved and some I've hated, some I've been indifferent to, and some I've been obsessed with. I'm sure you'll remember or know some and maybe you might find a nice surprise here and there!

This is.. CURIOUS CUISINE! *lightning bolts and thunder*

Squeez Bacon:

This one's for you, James. I know how much you love meat and I know how much of a burly man you are, this is inevitably something of the artery-clogging heart-attack ensuring variety that you'd consider epic, what equates to the Squeez-It's of meat.

I can't tell you how much this product disturbs me, this was developed a few years after WWII by a bloke working at a Swedish restaurant who figured out by pre-cooking bacon and then blending it that he could make a squeezable bacon paste... Yuck.. Bacon.. Paste.. *shivers*..

My stomach just turned over.. Because that looks so appetizing and so much like actual bacon.. You know what it actually looks like? Shite.

I'm not even kidding. It absolutely looks like fecal matter.. Literally..

Bacon Balm:

And if your Carmex lip-balm has run out, might I suggest Bacon Balm!? Because we can't follow up a squeezable bacon-paste with the ability to make me shudder and vomit slightly in my mouth without something equally as baconfied to go along with it!

..What the hell precisely has been up with people and their bacon obsession lately? Lately bacon has boomed and become a massively popular meat, something that makes very little sense to me, I can't understand it at all. Why would someone want lip-balm that tastes like bacon? I can understand chocolate, Chocula, Boo-Berry, Frankenberry, or something like that but.. Bacon?

..The fuck?

...But nothing says 'I love you' like kissing that special someone with bacony lips of love I guess..

Deep Fried Coke:

Southerners in the United States are a disturbing bunch and like to use the phrase generally attributed to their famed Southern General, Robert E. Lee; "The South shall rise again" but I'm convinced that's all bold-faced fucking lies. Fucking lies. The South as a whole may never rise again even from their couches with the amount of shite and junk they imbibe and the astounding pace that they continue to confound me by concocting new and increasingly more disturbing mutations.

They deep fried Coke.

What. The. FUCK?!

Yes, that's right. A frozen Coca-Cola flavoured batter deep fried then topped with coke-syrup, whipped cream, cinnamon, sugar, and a cherry. Created by Abel Gonzales, Jr., at the 2006 State Fair of Texas I'm officially wanting to nominate this to be against the Geneva Convention to serve to human-beings.

Amazingly this shite sold 10,000 cups in the first two weeks in Texas.

Unsurprisingly (completely) a single cup of this shite costs you approximately 830 Calories of empty fat, artery-clogging grease, syrup, and general badness. Why would you EVER willfully invite this into your body?

Dinner:

Tonight's dinner is called Murasakiiro no sakana itame (Purple fish stir-fry) and boy I'm pretty damn proud of it, it came out looking incredibly pretty and colourful on a whole new level. I don't think I've ever managed colours exactly like this that worked so well.

Largely this is a variation on Aozakana (Blue Fish) and features the Aozakana itself (sardines), noodles, broccoli, cranberries, candied beets, and mushrooms all stir-fried together, the Anpan (Sweet Roll) is a unique one that I was inspired at random to do - Cracker Jacks Anpan, and the satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) has some nice french vanilla SnowManChubbyMallows.

I adore the fact that the colours are so damn vibrant I mean look at it. The colours just pop and it's quite pretty in my opinion..

All in all, winning dish. Once more I'm pleased with myself, I've managed to achieve another trophy dish! Yay!