Furtive Fast-Food (Taco Bell edition) & Precarious Pilaf

Secret, secret, cloak-and-dagger blah blah, I'll cut you, G.

NO really, essay. I cut'chu.

If there's one fast-food chain that I have a soft spot for, it's Taco Bell. Taco Bell is a magical place, a place referred to probably with no real originality by me as 'Taco Hell' because Hell is all that it can be when things taste as good as they do from Taco Bell and you have the distinct knowledge that they're being pumped en-mass by a fast-food giant. You know they're not good for you, they're hellishly bad.

It's also unfortunate because I can't eat 95% of what's on their menu due to allergies that cropped up for me later in life. Well, I could eat 95% of what was on their menu but I suspect either the massive coronary or the anaphylaxis would take me out. It's probably all for the best, when I cut myself I actually like bleeding blood. Not congealed fat, oil, and traces of re-fried beans.

Taco Bell is an American chain of fast-food 'restaurants' that makes American-adapted Mexican food, in other words.. They take what was in the American opinion 'Mexican food' and then butcher it with Americanization. Nothing about Taco Bell is really truly Mexican. Trust me, as someone who has seen and eaten real Mexican food, Taco Bell is not it. Actual Mexican food does not make such a sexually gratuitous use of cheese for instance as a smaller quibble.

Taco Bell was originally started as Bell’s Drive-In in 1946 by founder Glen Bell, the Drive-In was sold, and then Bell reopened as Taco-Tia two years later.. This still wasn't Taco Bell however as Glen would own several restaurants down the line and throughout the years that eventually evolved into him owning four El Taco restaurants and then finally selling them and opening the first Taco Bell finally in 1962. Sufficed to say he was quite successful and PepsiCo eventually bought Taco Bell from Glen in 1978. This is the Taco Bell we know today and this is their super secret menu that I may be executed by mutant tamales for revealing! Ay dios mio!!

Taco Bell Enchirito:

Best as I can tell this is Taco Bells combination of an Enchilada and a Burrito. The marketing photograph for it is also full of FUCKING LIES, they do not look like that and they are not that infinitely appetizing. They're pretty damn good looking and pretty goddamn tasty to boot but they do not look like something you'd earned after climbing the worlds most precarious and challenging mountain as a reward from the peak-dwelling faux-Mexican Gods.

Still in spite of all my fast-food downing, I'm left salivating at the sight of this fucker. This is the actual product and I've got to say, comparatively it doesn't look that much worse than the marketing image. The marketing image is clearly touched up and all but still.. This is fucking delicious looking and it's the actually product itself, how many fast-food places can say their foods actually look decent when compared to their marketing photographs? Not many.

More or less regardless of it's name the Enchirito is just a Burrito. Not that I'm complaining mind you, it's just aside from the tortilla it's not any different from a Burrito.. Name aside, whatever. This is delicious and so mind-numbingly earth-shatteringly terrible for you that it'd fucking better be. I'll down this 'till the sun don't shine because nutritionally it's absolute and utter shite but flavour-wise.. My god the Enchirito is a heavenly divine secret menu item that I'd gladly brave mutant tamales for.

Chili Cheese Burrito:

Some mind you, some Taco Bell locations will serve the Chili Cheese Burrito. In spite of being a furtive fast-food item it carries a cult-following, this is probably one of the best known currently 'secret' menu items. It's pretty godly too. The cult-following it has amassed is well deserved.

I remember these being extremely good and extremely simple, beef chili, cheddar cheese and a tortilla; that's it. This is the extent of the Chili Cheese Burrito and it worked, it worked amazingly well. These fuckers are goddamn amazingly delicious for how simple they are and if you factor in an addition of say.. Frito chips or something crunchy along with them (those little churro twists hinthint) these are an item that I'd gladly break my diet for. No looking back in regards to these, these little fucks are epic.

Remember:
Taco Bell and places like it keep their shit on-hand, this means that behind the windows and inside the actual building they have the ingredients on-hand to make damn near everything and anything on their menu currently and that has been on their menu in the past. If you ask nicely and are willing to wait a little longer then chances are that you can probably get damn near anything you want from any Taco Bell.

Of course with recent developments Taco Bell has suffered some pretty massive Public Relations damage.. What with the revelation that they evidently use silicon dioxide in their meat, that if you're not aware right away let me explain is beach-sand. No, really. It's fucking sand.. Delicious fucking sand evidently but sand nevertheless, it's kind of disturbing and since these revelations I haven't had Taco Bell or even considered them.. Don't know if I ever will again.. What's your view on it? How do you feel about the Public Relations disaster here? Do you still eat at Taco Bell and trust them or like me are you kind of on the ropes about it?

Dinner:

Okay, so this is Sake Pirafu (Salmon Pilaf) and is a Japanese style.. Uh, well.. Rice Pilaf and Salmon.. Yeah.. Well, it was somewhat simple though the Pilaf was pretty difficult and I was worried it wouldn't come out right. It's the first time I've ever tried to make Rice Pilaf before. All in all it looks damn nice and damn good.

I was really worried about the Pilaf which consists of a special sauce steamed into the rice, peas, mushrooms, and broccoli, the salmon fillet on top covered by a small amount of Japanese tartar, the Anpan (Sweet Roll) lemon flavoured with some vanilla cream over it, and the satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) topped by a PeppermintMallow.

The main dish really did turn out surprisingly pleasing ascetically, I'm very happy. James also seemed to really enjoy this, scarfing it down with gusto.