The Way of the Outlaw &

So I'm a fan of Anime, that's not going to surprise anyone here.. I've mentioned in the past how good certain series are, one that comes to mind being One Piece, an Anime we're still watching but now we're going to veer to an older Anime and I'd like to bring it up specifically because it's one of the best Anime ever created.

Between 1996 to 1999 the Manga was serialized in the monthly Shueisha magazine and in early 1998 the Anime originally aired. The Manga and Anime I'm referring to is Outlaw Star;

Outlaw Star follows the protagonist, Gene Starwind and his 11-year-old side-kick and associate, Jim Hawking. The two of them run a kind of 'jack-of-all-trades' business in which they take on essentially any odd-job they can get from bounty-hunting to body guarding to even ferrying and courier work.

Of course Gene is the cocky red-head, always sure of himself and always the first to jump into a situation without thinking things through;

He's impetuous, full of himself, but generally is a good guy and usually has a fairly good head on his shoulders. Jim serves as his second and right-hand, acting as the balance to Gene's impetuous nature, more of an OCD neat-freak and organizational Nazi, Jim provides a surprisingly mature business-mindedness to their two endevours;

Jim is also a genius and a child prodigy which comes to play later and throughout the series Jim remains indispensably useful to Gene.

Following these two the series starts off with strong-points, Gene and Jim have been hired to body-guard a woman. Without spoiling too much and going into detail, the two have bitten off a little more than they could chew or knew they were biting off, the three are eventually attacked, pursued, and finally double-crossed. In spite of all of this everything plays out and eventually through Hilda, the woman they were body-guarding the next member of the Stars cast is revealed, Melfina;

Now Melfina is a unique one.. Melfina is a bio-android, a 'key' of sorts that acts not only as a big power-player later in the series but a 'key' that acts as navigator and part of the systems of the ship known as the XGP15A-II or what is also known as 'The Outlaw Star';

This is where the series really starts to shine. Amazing designs for ships, unique originality, beautiful character design, unique character personalities (Even the ship has it's own personality in Gilliam II!), in-depth character growth, and just all together epicness glow in this series. Every character here has a story, their own ambitions, their own reasons, and motivations for everything they do and they're quite deeply fleshed out, their personalities really feel deep and very real. Eventually we're introduced to the rest of the Stars crew;

Aisha Clanclan of the Ctarl Ctarl Empire is the first to appear and is probably the most like me, she is who I identify most with. Aggressive, irritable, loud, prone to violence, highly athletic, and yet somewhat 'perky', Aisha exhibits the qualities of my own personality and so I'm quite fond of her. As a member of the Ctarl Ctarl species, Aisha is a 'cat-girl' for lack of a better explanation and her species is capable of quite impressive traits including enhanced physical strength, athleticism, and the ability to transform into a 'bestial form';

Like I said, this series has some bad ass original designs. Much as I'd like to linger on Aisha, we've got to cover the rest of the crew.

Introduced third is the assassin Twilight Suzuka whom was hired to assassinate a friend of Gene's, Fred Luo. Through several turns of events, Suzuka ends up joining the Stars crew of course. She is a traditional Japanese swordsman, highly composed and wields a wooden sword as opposed to a steel sword. This is another one of those interesting character quirks and original bits in regards to character design, Suzuka is not to be underestimated even wielding just a wooden sword however; it is quite dangerous.

This series story is amazing and as mentioned the characters only breathe more life into the series, you really do begin to empathize with them and actually care about them. Unfortunately this series suffers the same faults that many of the best Anime series suffer, it's short; incredibly short. All in all there are only 26 episodes of the Anime and while it ends on a satisfying note, wrapping the series up nicely, it still leaves you wanting more. Much more and there's so much they could have done to have continued it. Sadly in spite of talks years back of ending the series with an OVA (Original Video Animation) there was never any follow through and the project as been dead in the water for quite some time.

So my suggestion? If you've never seen this series, try it. Seek out the original voice-version rather than the dub, it's far superior and more enjoyable, the original version is also not going to be edited where the dub may be. Outlaw Star is definitely and without a doubt one of the best Anime of all times. Certainly worth at least one watch-through.

Dinner:

Great day today, great dinner, and great presentation! All around great! This is Kurimisandoitchi to shichu (Cream-Sandwich and Stew) and is a simple half-left over meal with the addition of a single gourmet Japanese style sandwich.

It came out very nicely and the sandwich is a gourmet Japanese-styled cheese sandwich, the stew is stew left over from a couple of days ago, Anpan (Sweet Roll) a Cracker Jack Anpan with vanilla cream sauce over it, and the satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) is topped by a beautiful PeppermintMallow puck.

I gotta say I'm super pleased with this and James scarfed it down. This has been a GREAT AND SUPER day!!!! It's December 31 (though by the time of this post it'll be the first of 2012) and I've had a pretty excellent Birthday (celebrated on the 30th but my Birthday is actually on the 31st) - I got several new pieces of clothing including an awesome Hershey's Milk Chocolate T-Shirt and a brand new cell phone!


 

Dec 31 - My BIG BDAY Post

Yes, that's right. It's December 31 (Actually 30th at the time of typing this because we decided to make time work for us and that because of schedules we'd have my Birthday day a day early so we could be together.) and that means it's my Birthday today. My Birthday is definitely on a weird day, my Birthday being on the same day that the New Year begins and only days after XMAS and it's Holiday Season. Most people think that's great and their usual reasoning is "You get double the gifts", oh if that were only true. Live in the ghetto and relative poverty for most of your life and things aren't quite so incredibly awesome as you may think. I'd certainly like if that were true but it rarely was, usually whatever gifts we got were compounded together which meant no double-gifts. I got just as many as anyone else and it kind of takes away from the idea of how your Birthday is supposed to be special because everyone else had their Birthday later or middle of the month and got gifts apart from the Holiday Season while it always seemed as if I did not.. Probably because I actually didn't.

Let me start by stating on my Birthday day as much as I love to cook, FUCK COOKING TODAY. I am doing a little bit of prep-work for dinner tomorrow but today, today I am cooking jack and shit for anyone other than myself if even that.

This year, oh boy.. This year.. This year has been fucking rough.. James losing his job, our money situation becoming so precarious, constant troubles, health-issues, and just general nastiness throughout the year it seemed.. The Holidays sucked for me including my favourite, Halloween and XMAS? Forget it. I admit it was my choice to stay home but it was only my choice to stay home because I wanted to retain some civility amongst James' family and well.. Long story short some in his family and I do not get along and I'm about one random unprovoked insult from her away from completely flipping my shit and losing all sense of civility. I didn't want to ruin everyone else' Holiday so I chose to simply sit at home and spend it alone.. It was definitely depressing.. It sucked.. And for a while it looked like the same would be for my Birthday but happily some nice things have actually happened for me.. One of them?

Well last night a package arrived for me at my doorstep delivered by the UPS man - I was confused personally, I didn't order anything and certainly I hadn't ordered anything as big as the box that came, it was damn near the size of a chair and when I reached down with a single arm to pick it up I very quickly found that this was going to be a two arm job, it was heavy.

So in I take my box, I read over the address and sure enough it's addressed to me.. Now keep in mind at this point I've completely forgotten anything over the past few days, it's pretty late and I'm starting to wind down; my mind isn't exactly crystalline at this point. I walk the box to the kitchen, jerk out my good 'ole faithful meat-cleaver, and cleave the bitch open.. What am I met by?

OH.

MY.

GOD.

YESSSS!

I am met by the BIGGEST spread of mass Pop-Tarts I've ever seen in one place at one time.. Well, I've seen this big before but only at stores; never owned by me!

Then it dawned on me staring down at these wonderful epic pastry biscuits, I had a reader to thank for these. A reader who out of the kindness of his own heart chose to buy me a gift, me a stranger who has contributed nothing to his life other than a few paltry blog-entries; amazing! This type of shit is inspiring and I'm so happy at this point I could cry. The reader in question will remain unnamed, I'm not sure whether they'd want to be anonymous or known but to play it safe we'll keep them anonymous, they know who they are and know how thankful I am.. I will say this, though.. This reader in question clearly pays attention to my blog for what flavours should he send me other than my insanely desired Cookies 'n' Creme Pop-Tarts which I expressed a serious want for in my review for Nabisco Kool-Stuf and the subsequent Cookies 'n' Cream post as well as a Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts for my Birthday.



NOT ONLY was he thoughtful enough to buy me a butt-load of Cookies 'n' Cream Pop-Tarts but he also got me a Confetti Cake because it was my Birthday. HE PUT THOUGHT INTO BUYING A THEMATIC GIFT. You know how they say 'it's the thought that counts'? That definitely applies here, how awesomely sweet is this reader!?

Sufficed to say I am excited as hell about these Cookies 'n' Cream Pop-Tarts and I instantly threw a sleeve into the freezer and started freezing the bitch while I took another one out and cranked my oven on. Use a microwave? Are you insane? Fuck a microwave, bitch. Oven all the way. If my Pop-Tarts going to catch fire, it's going to goddamn explode beforehand. At any rate, into the oven at 375 Degrees went the Pop-Tart and the wait, she did begin and she was not as torturous as I thought she'd be, actually she was quite pleasant. I had forgotten how goddamn amazing Kool-Stuf Oreo Toaster Pastries smelled when they were heated and fucking FORGET AND ABANDON the idea of doing them in a toaster, DO THEM IN THE OVEN!!!! The scent of heating Toaster Pastry, specifically the wonderful scent of OREO Toaster Pastry was like I was baking some sort of Oreo-O's cake. Heavenly Divine is what it was!

Can I start by stating that I love that the sleeves say "DO NOT MICROWAVE IN THIS WRAPPER", seriously? Someone's going to pop these bitches into a microwave or something while still in the foil, really? If that's true, LET THEM! It's called natural selection goddamn it and you're not supposed to fuck with it! That's why we're suffering the threat of over population now dumb asses, you're supposed to let the morons cull themselves by way of a few Pop-Tart related deaths.

Taken out raw they look pretty damn good, I remember Kool Stuf well and these look exactly like Kool Stuf did, they smell like it too. That's a good sign since these were completely raw and straight from the package.. It's a promising sign to be certain.

Of course I've already mentioned the smell while this baby was in the oven.. My god was it ever divine, it was like the hottest most incredible pornography created specifically for MY nose. When put in the oven the pastry kind of shrunk and compacted a little becoming slightly thinner and the frosting on top became oddly soft while the Oreo dark crust did as well.. Then we tore it in half..

It broke apart easily of course, it was hot and fairly gooey but not slimy or drippy at all. Clearly the thing looks good, how did it taste though? Well.. Frankly.. Fucking amazing, it's EXACTLY LIKE THE GODDAMN KOOL STUF!!!! YES! Fate fuck you, FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE EAR; I'VE GOT THEM BACK. THEY'RE MINE!! - These bastards are AMAZING, I don't usually care for oven-heated Pop-Tarts but WOW - When these were heated they became soft, pliable, and the insides became so very ooey and gooey. Their sweetness level was perfect and the crust tasted like the most amazing Oreo ever which is awesome because I fucking HATE Oreo's but I love these! Ooh man, I think I definitely needed a change of pants by the end of this; I could feel my eyes rolling up into my head and I could see the psychedelic euphoria in my brain. Step back. Goddamn.

So we've popped them into the oven but are we done yet? - NO! There's still one pastry in the package and it's frozen, what would a frozen one taste like? We've already confirmed that toasted Cookies 'n' Creme Pop-Tarts taste like Kool Stuf Oreo Toaster Pastries, do they taste the same frozen?

 Tears in my eyes, stumbling, and sobbing I proclaim in the weakest and meekest; humblest of voices.. Yes.. Yes they do! PRAISE ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, THEY DO! - Amazing is an understated word, I can't think in the thesaurus that is my mind a proper word to describe these frozen. They take on the usual stiffer state that Pop-Tarts tend to but become slightly chewy on the outside, chewy and a little flaky. A unique state that no Pop-Tart other than these seems to achieve.. The insides? Oh, the insides. The gooey Pop-Tart goo-filling becomes cold, it retains the cold separate from the rest of the Pop-Tart and becomes slightly more creamy, it basically becomes the smoothest most incredibly light ice-cream you've ever had; it's EPIC and blends flawlessly with the taste of the biscuit that consists of the body of the Pop-Tart itself. I couldn't believe it, I was literally sobbing, literally sobbing - Not just because I was so happy to have something from so far in my past again that I thought was gone but because I am so genuinely touched by this random act of kindness that.. Just, yes.. I've been so down in the dumps and convinced humanity had lost all traces of good in it that this is what I needed, I needed something like this to happen to me to remind me everything isn't always bad; there's still some good in the world.

Extra good if you consider that now we're going to segue into the Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts! WHOOO! Best fucking article ever!

I've written in the past about these, I loved the Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts because well.. The reader in question that sent me said they wanted to send me these as gifts because there was something genuine about me, I disagree; it's not something genuine.. I'm simply childish, I'm very childish and I understand and accept that. I have a bit of a Peter Pan complex kind of making me like a younger Willy Wonka (Gene Wilders Willy Wonka, not the creepy paedo Depp Wonka) which is to say I'm very whimsical at times and prone to bouts of randomness - Not that I have an army of orange-skinned minions.. That would make me either a bitch from Jersey Shore or Satan, I am neither.. I suppose that is to say that while everyone else accepts and follows the social correctness that says once you reach a certain age you can't love/want toys, love/want candy obsessively, and love/watch cartoons and such 'children's programming' because it's for 'children'; fuck that shit. Others can avoid such things but I like them and I don't care because frankly I'm not exactly a social butter-fly to begin with, why should I give a damn if someone thinks I'm creepy or weird? Anyway.. I liked the Confetti Cake Pop-Tarts because they're ★☆~-;so colourfuuuul;-~☆★ - There's something whimsical about them or maybe I'm just goddamn simple, whatever.

Getting right to it when I put these in the oven they were considerably more subtle scent-wise which isn't surprising really, I've had them in the past.. Only raw though.. These had a surprise inside them, though. Something I hadn't expected.

Unlike the Cookies 'n' Creme Pop-Tarts which compacted when toasted in the oven these actually fattened, they became considerably bulged and visibly so, the inside seemed to actually bake; I think it did.. I'm not entirely sure what exactly is inside these, it's not your average Pop-Tart goo-filling and it took on a.. Well.. Cake-like consistency when it was toasted.. And it was very baked-good tasting, more-so than these are raw and I suppose that's unsurprising since I technically did bake them. Did they taste good? Eh.. They tasted okay toasted, they weren't Cookies 'n' Creme to be sure but few Pop-Tarts are that good frozen and toasted alike.. In fact what I can remember is that only Cookies 'n' Creme are.. These however were like freshly baked cakes, warm, sweet, and slightly cakey inside. Not bad, not great; definitely good.

Frozen, though. Frozen is where these shine which is strange because they're cake-flavoured and they actually taste like cake, something I've mentioned in the past that was ironic since the ice-cream Pop-Tarts that are released typically taste like cake and I expected the cake to taste like ice-cream.. You know what? I was half right. Frozen these change completely, I mean on a scale that surprised me to the point that I bit into this, chewed it, stared at a wall for a second, took a second bite, paid really close attention while I chewed, and rolled it in my mouth trying to do my best impression of a high-paid food critic.

Holy shit.. These completely like under went alchemical transmutation into something entirely different when frozen.. They became ice-cream! The perfect goddamn ice-cream, I swear to you right now, the most AMAZING ice-cream flavour I think I've ever tasted in a Pop-Tart and it's from the goddamn cake Pop-Tart I expected to taste like ice-cream raw. YOU FUCK WITH ME, KELLOGG'S. WHAT THE HELL!?

So obviously Kellogg's is out to mind-fuck me, whatever.. I'll explain this to you.. When toasted in the oven these become soft, cake-like, and slightly chewy in a moist sort of way, when frozen these become stiffer, considerably chewier, and the inner filling becomes deceptively creme-like in spite of it's appearance. It also impressively retains cold becoming ice-cream-like better than the Cookies 'n' Cream which I was totally blown away by. The chew to these is just incredible, it's really something that lends a surprisingly increase to the intrinsic palatable state of the Pop-Tart to begin with, in layman's terms; shit gets better nigga.

Now that I've done these toasted and frozen I can say safely, frozen is superior. Just ignore the fact that they're 'cake flavoured' - Fuck 'em, Pop-Tarts are obviously prone to being backassward. Ice-cream tastes like cake and cake tastes like ice-cream, T'HELL WITH YOUR DAMN LOGIC!

And continuing on with a pretty good day, I got adventurous today and James went to the store to buy a cola, asked me if I wanted one, and I decided I'd try something new.. I got something I never have gotten before; Diet A&W Root Beer - I don't normally like Root Beer and questioned why I was doing this, I just felt it was a good choice. That's literally the reason, it was a feeling and nothing more.. I expected it to suck.. But I wanted to take a chance and have something new because I was feeling super adventurous and I said 'fuck it, take a chance you pansy!'

Well.. Two points..

1.) It doesn't suck. It's awesome.

2.) The bottle is super fucking cool!

I love this shit even if it doesn't have caffeine! It's delicious, the bottle is amazing, and it's something new that I haven't had or can't remember ever having had, I've learned something new that I like today and on my Birthday? This is turning out to be a good day, isn't it? But let's continue on, the day isn't over.. In fact it's only early in the morning at this point, still not even noon!

By night we were out and about, dinner was had at the Asian Grill & Buffet, an AWESOME Oriental Restaurant owned by a Chef who prepped under Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto, Owen Ou. What did I have? Mostly seafood, of course! I ate like a goddamn Queen!

Mussels, oysters, sashimi, crab, crab legs, octopus, and the like. Oh my GOD was it ever good! Amazing dinner, I actually ate quite a lot; way more than I normally do!

Outside of this? We then headed out and around town for a little and eventually ended up at the local Logan's Roadhouse where I had the BEST dessert drink I've ever had! A tropical, sweet, and coconut flavoured glass of wunderbar that was my first Pina Colada! And yes, I fucking LOVE walking in the rain, bitch.

It wasn't a perfect night but I gotta say.. It was pretty damn good, pretty damn fun. The day as a whole was largely good, a few bad parts but.. Nothing that can't be forgiven or moved past.

I want more seafood and pina colada's! I demand the right to live off these exclusively! This is my Birthday wish! - It's officially the 31st and the literal day of my Birthday now. Rock on!

Furtive Fast-Food (Taco Bell edition) & Precarious Pilaf

Secret, secret, cloak-and-dagger blah blah, I'll cut you, G.

NO really, essay. I cut'chu.

If there's one fast-food chain that I have a soft spot for, it's Taco Bell. Taco Bell is a magical place, a place referred to probably with no real originality by me as 'Taco Hell' because Hell is all that it can be when things taste as good as they do from Taco Bell and you have the distinct knowledge that they're being pumped en-mass by a fast-food giant. You know they're not good for you, they're hellishly bad.

It's also unfortunate because I can't eat 95% of what's on their menu due to allergies that cropped up for me later in life. Well, I could eat 95% of what was on their menu but I suspect either the massive coronary or the anaphylaxis would take me out. It's probably all for the best, when I cut myself I actually like bleeding blood. Not congealed fat, oil, and traces of re-fried beans.

Taco Bell is an American chain of fast-food 'restaurants' that makes American-adapted Mexican food, in other words.. They take what was in the American opinion 'Mexican food' and then butcher it with Americanization. Nothing about Taco Bell is really truly Mexican. Trust me, as someone who has seen and eaten real Mexican food, Taco Bell is not it. Actual Mexican food does not make such a sexually gratuitous use of cheese for instance as a smaller quibble.

Taco Bell was originally started as Bell’s Drive-In in 1946 by founder Glen Bell, the Drive-In was sold, and then Bell reopened as Taco-Tia two years later.. This still wasn't Taco Bell however as Glen would own several restaurants down the line and throughout the years that eventually evolved into him owning four El Taco restaurants and then finally selling them and opening the first Taco Bell finally in 1962. Sufficed to say he was quite successful and PepsiCo eventually bought Taco Bell from Glen in 1978. This is the Taco Bell we know today and this is their super secret menu that I may be executed by mutant tamales for revealing! Ay dios mio!!

Taco Bell Enchirito:

Best as I can tell this is Taco Bells combination of an Enchilada and a Burrito. The marketing photograph for it is also full of FUCKING LIES, they do not look like that and they are not that infinitely appetizing. They're pretty damn good looking and pretty goddamn tasty to boot but they do not look like something you'd earned after climbing the worlds most precarious and challenging mountain as a reward from the peak-dwelling faux-Mexican Gods.

Still in spite of all my fast-food downing, I'm left salivating at the sight of this fucker. This is the actual product and I've got to say, comparatively it doesn't look that much worse than the marketing image. The marketing image is clearly touched up and all but still.. This is fucking delicious looking and it's the actually product itself, how many fast-food places can say their foods actually look decent when compared to their marketing photographs? Not many.

More or less regardless of it's name the Enchirito is just a Burrito. Not that I'm complaining mind you, it's just aside from the tortilla it's not any different from a Burrito.. Name aside, whatever. This is delicious and so mind-numbingly earth-shatteringly terrible for you that it'd fucking better be. I'll down this 'till the sun don't shine because nutritionally it's absolute and utter shite but flavour-wise.. My god the Enchirito is a heavenly divine secret menu item that I'd gladly brave mutant tamales for.

Chili Cheese Burrito:

Some mind you, some Taco Bell locations will serve the Chili Cheese Burrito. In spite of being a furtive fast-food item it carries a cult-following, this is probably one of the best known currently 'secret' menu items. It's pretty godly too. The cult-following it has amassed is well deserved.

I remember these being extremely good and extremely simple, beef chili, cheddar cheese and a tortilla; that's it. This is the extent of the Chili Cheese Burrito and it worked, it worked amazingly well. These fuckers are goddamn amazingly delicious for how simple they are and if you factor in an addition of say.. Frito chips or something crunchy along with them (those little churro twists hinthint) these are an item that I'd gladly break my diet for. No looking back in regards to these, these little fucks are epic.

Remember:
Taco Bell and places like it keep their shit on-hand, this means that behind the windows and inside the actual building they have the ingredients on-hand to make damn near everything and anything on their menu currently and that has been on their menu in the past. If you ask nicely and are willing to wait a little longer then chances are that you can probably get damn near anything you want from any Taco Bell.

Of course with recent developments Taco Bell has suffered some pretty massive Public Relations damage.. What with the revelation that they evidently use silicon dioxide in their meat, that if you're not aware right away let me explain is beach-sand. No, really. It's fucking sand.. Delicious fucking sand evidently but sand nevertheless, it's kind of disturbing and since these revelations I haven't had Taco Bell or even considered them.. Don't know if I ever will again.. What's your view on it? How do you feel about the Public Relations disaster here? Do you still eat at Taco Bell and trust them or like me are you kind of on the ropes about it?

Dinner:

Okay, so this is Sake Pirafu (Salmon Pilaf) and is a Japanese style.. Uh, well.. Rice Pilaf and Salmon.. Yeah.. Well, it was somewhat simple though the Pilaf was pretty difficult and I was worried it wouldn't come out right. It's the first time I've ever tried to make Rice Pilaf before. All in all it looks damn nice and damn good.

I was really worried about the Pilaf which consists of a special sauce steamed into the rice, peas, mushrooms, and broccoli, the salmon fillet on top covered by a small amount of Japanese tartar, the Anpan (Sweet Roll) lemon flavoured with some vanilla cream over it, and the satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) topped by a PeppermintMallow.

The main dish really did turn out surprisingly pleasing ascetically, I'm very happy. James also seemed to really enjoy this, scarfing it down with gusto.

Inimitable Ice-Cream & Brothy Bluefish!

Everyone loves Ice-Cream, even people who are lactose intolerant and can't eat Ice-Cream without suffering the screaming shits loves Ice-Cream. They can try to deny it but the screaming shits are a small price to pay and hell even surprise explosive diarrhea is a small price to pay for Ice-Cream. Ice-Cream is good, Ice-Cream is pure, and few of us (if any) have grown up without Ice-Cream attached to our younger years and attached to our younger years with undeniably positive and absolutely good memories.

But not all Ice-Creams are created equally. There are frozen treats and then there are frozen treats, some Ice-Creams, some Ice-Pops, some strange concoctions created by some unique merchant but all delicious.. Well.. Hopefully delicious..

So among all the Ice-Creams out there I'm going to take you on a journey through the world of the frozen treat known as Ice-Cream and show you my favourites so that you too can seek them out and enjoy their awesomeness.. Oh.. And the brain-freeze. You won't forget the brain-freeze for long.

Ben & Jerry's American Apple Pie:

Apple pie is awesome, ice-cream is super, and adding both of them together into a single entity? Oh hurt me, baby. Hurt me.

Ben & Jerry's American Apple Pie Ice-Cream is Ben & Jerry's contribution to some of the most popular pies being made into ice-creams and as I've said, I love apple pie. The fact of the matter is this is perfect ice-cream, damn close to perfect anyway.. Maybe not quite perfect, there are some things that could be done better or could be improved upon but it's damn close to perfect.

In this ice-cream there's a wonderful combination of crust, nice crunchy apples which just take to the freezing so well, and ice-cream that just melds so well together and manages to come together into a totally and delicious full-circle. It really is quite good. It doesn't stop just there, though.. When you're eating this you'll notice that as you eat away at the surface and get down into the 'meat' of the ice-cream that you'll begin to find a swirl of strong cinnamon that really just sets the flavours off beautifully. This is a great and amazing ice-cream.

This was a limited run unfortunately, though and I believe that since the time that I tried it which was either 2008-2009 that it's been removed from production. Not 'discontinued' per say, just not kept around, that's a damned shame too.

Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice-Cream:

Fruit, ice-cream, other junk-foods, baked goods, and such.. God they go so well in ice-cream and some companies just hit a mark that is such win. This Blue Bell Banana Pudding ice-cream is one of those marks and we first discovered it in the frozen-foods section of Walgreens.. You were perhaps expecting it to be in the hygiene aisle? ...Though thinking about it smothering something that tastes this good on your body/face may have some sort of strange health benefits.. Hm..

At any rate, this shit was amazing. We had it one night when we walked up to the local Walgreens and couldn't resist it's lure, even my indomitable will broke under the pleading of James and the beckoning of this fruity flirt.

Big honest banana chunks, wafer biscuits, creamy vanilla ice-cream, and creamy banana all mixed into one melting pot of amazing. You cannot go wrong with this, it's absolutely mind-numbingly delicious, I mean.. Just.. You have no idea how damn good this shit is until you've tried it, if you've never tried it; go try it.

Superman:

This is actually my second favourite flavour of ice-cream that exists. I discovered Superman flavour rather late in my life (early teens) and bought it mostly because it was the first time I'd seen it and it reminded me of that ever famous goo from the movie Hook during the food-fight scene.

I still think that shit looks ever loving delicious. I have no clue what it is, I just know it's so damn colourful and creamy looking that it can't taste bad.

What is Superman ice-cream? Not a lot of people actually know, in fact the actual definitive answer is definitively elusive on the internet. Most belief is that Superman ice-cream consists of the flavours 'Blue Moon', an ice-cream flavour with bright blue coloring available almost exclusively in the Upper Midwest of the United States, Vanilla, and typically Cherry. Do I know? No..

All I know is that Superman ice-cream is undeniably delicious and whimsical and of all the ice-creams I've ever had or tried in my life, this is my second favourite of all time. My first being so incredibly elusive that I have no hope of having it ever again probably so this is basically and functionally my favourite. Something about Superman ice-cream has been magical for me ever since I discovered it so long ago. Plus just look at it, it's so awesome looking!

Blue Bunny Blue Bubblegum Ice-Cream:

This is the single most delicious, decadent, and insanely good ice-cream I've EVER had my entire life. This is Blue Bunny Bubblegum Ice-Cream, it is not Sparta; it is better.

I discovered this late in my life at a local miniature golf-course, it was sold in their ice-cream bar and much to my surprise it was blue with what seems to be little white chunks of gum in it. Strangely there seems to be a slight hint of mint in this which in spite of how it may amaze others, I don't mind; it adds to the flavour. It's a sweet mint and not the type you're used to or thinking of, trust me. It wasn't a mint I'd tasted before I tasted this.

This stuff is creamy and delicious, unbelievably so. The texture of the actual ice-cream itself is so perfect it blows my mind and the bubblegum in the ice-cream doesn't freeze and harden but rather freezes and becomes kind of.. Flaky.. Reducing to a delicious dust like a Razzle and only then after if you retain it in your mouth does it change to gum. I choose the swallow it, it's too delicious to let it trans-mutate into gum.

Much to my dismay in spite of my inquiries, Blue Bunny says the following about this ice-cream flavour;

Thank you for contacting BLUE BUNNY Consumer Relations in which you inquired about the availability of BLUE BUNNY Bubble Gum Ice Cream.  We appreciate hearing from our valued customers.

BLUE BUNNY Bubble Gum Ice Cream is a foodservice specialty ice cream for ice cream parlors, restaurants, amusement parks, etc. – it is not available for retail sale through grocery stores.    

You will want to check out our website, www.bluebunny.com - not only will you be one of the first to find out what new flavors are coming but you’ll also find recipes, coupons and much more that I think you will enjoy.

If I can be of further assistance, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Faye - Consumer Relations

WELLS' DAIRY, INC.

All images, box shots, screen shots, text, logos, images, marks, icons and other content contained in this email and any attachments hereto are materials owned by Wells' Dairy, Inc. and protected under the copyright and trademark laws of the United States.  You may not sell, alter, modify, license, sublicense, copy, or use the materials for any purpose other than on behalf of and as expressly authorized by Wells' Dairy, Inc.

I can't believe that! They won't sell the stuff to you, they sell it only to specialty stores! What the fuck? This makes me sad, it makes me want to cry; how I crave this ice-cream.. God what I'd give for some..


Dinner:

Aozakana no shichu (Blue Fish Stew) is tonight's dish, what a beautiful tray this made, how clean, bright, and vibrant! The colours, the smells, and trust me the taste; this was a really well executed and maneuvered meal and James even finished the broth which as many know is a rarity. James rarely finishes the broth in my stews but this tells me that the whole of the meal was so good that he didn't want to leave any behind.

To be honest I wouldn't have either if I had eaten it. It came with the stew which featured Aozakana (Sardines; 'Blue Fish'), carrots, cauliflower, sweet peas, potatoes, bell peppers, and a soy spice broth, the Anpan (Sweet Roll) filled with Pumpkin Pie spiked Anko (Sweet Red Bean Paste) and covered by a gentle whipped vanilla creme, and the spinach lightly salted with hot-sauce sprinkled over it.

Just perfect. Fucking perfect. That's the way a Big Cat rolls, motha. Get used to it!

Furtive Fast-Food (Mackers HORROR Edition) & Beauty and the Biscuit

Now this is a scary one by my books. Given the status of the McRib as a 'legendary' item at Mackers (In spite of what it's made of and the sickening truth behind it.) I can't help but feel that anything on a cloak-and-dagger secret-menu may actually carry a dagger and wear a cloak and in fact try to shiv my ass. Nothing at Mackers is particularly good for you and they don't really seem to care or mind much that this is a fact, they as a point continue to pump out increasingly disturbing creations.

Frankly I don't trust any burger that uses more than one beef-patty and introduces a third bun between two other buns. Excess much? This is why so much of the rest of the world thinks Americans are gluttonous... Because they largely fucking are.

Sorry.. If you eat unnecessary shite like that it's true. There's just no reason or excuse.

Mind you I'll state that not all Americans are equal and many aren't gluttonous but even other Americans will have to eventually side with me and admit, some people in this country have serious fucking problems.

At the risk of adding fuel to the fire though let me take you along with me into the furtive fast-food of Mackers..

Chicken and Waffles:

This is a secretive food item on the Macker's breakfast menu, frankly the McGriddle on it's own scares me shitless.. It's a sandwich that is essentially composed of two overly fat pancake buns bathed in what must be a criminal amount of maple syrup almost ensuring your immanent triple-bypass, usually a breakfast meat (Mackers' usual low-quality 'meat'), and egg.. I've never seen eggs the shape Mackers sells them either, they're fucking square.. Uniformly so.. That's.. Just disturbing...

I seriously believe that even touching this sandwich raises your likely hood of heart-attack by about 65%.

But none of that really matters, the Chicken and Waffles is a sandwich you can order opting out Mackers usual cheap and incredibly unhealthy for you meats for an even more unhealthy for you option of deep-fried chicken.

My deep revulsion for all things Mackers aside, I can't even fathom how this would be good. This is completely repugnant sounding even as a sandwich I could make myself.. Who the hell would want this? Uck..

Big McChicken:

Okay this article is one huge puke-fest for me so far. Oh my god, I'm seriously like retching here. What the fuck are you thinking, Mackers? You remove the Super Size option from your menu to be 'healthier' and then you go and do some shit like this that makes Super Size Me look fucking healthy.

The Big McChicken is simply what it's name suggests, it's a Big Mac but with a chicken twist. THREE deep fried chicken slabs replace the already unhealthy three bread buns and sandwich together the whole.. Uh.. Sandwich.. You know.. Redundancy, I don't give a shit.. This is just too scary and to quote Egon; "I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."

Land Sea & Air Burger:

This is the Land, Sea, & Air burger. A burger from Mackers that features not just a beef-patty but a fried chicken and a fried fillet-o-fish patty as well.

I'm left to question why? Why does Mackers feel the need to make secretive items like this? Who orders this kind of unhealthy abomination? I know that someone out there must think this is appetizing but I just can't comprehend that type of thought, I can't even begin to comprehend anyone finding this appealing as a potential meal-item, nothing short of being a terrifying aberrant bestial hell-borne abomination.

Just ew.

Monster Mac & McGangBang:

You want to talk scary, horrifying, and fucking soul curdling horrendous? This is the Mackers Monster Mac and is the single most horrifying and disturbing abomination I think I've ever seen or considered. Even some 'fantasy burgers' that were solely meant to push the envelope and disgust people don't touch this ones truly repugnant state. It's a secret menu item and probably a secret menu item for a fucking reason.

This is simple enough but what type of person eats what is a Big Mac with EIGHT beef-patties!? Seriously! What the hell, man? I can't even imagine taking a single bite of this disgusting thing, let alone ordering it from a secret menu or actually finishing it and being alive afterwards or not looking like a beached whale. Why would you do that to your body? What conceivable gain could you receive from eating something this monstrous and terrible? What is Mackers thinking even selling this?

All together this beast serves in 2100 calories, that's more than most people should take in a whole day especially if they don't want to end up looking like Fat Bastard.

None can justify this to me. I'm sorely tempted to call Mackers HQ and demand to know their reasoning or simply to go there in person and beat the shite out of someone for it just out of the blue.

And following their obsession with stuffing deep-fried chicken bits into every burger they can manage you can go to a Mackers and order a "McGangBang" which is an admittedly awesome name for a sandwich but is a terrifying tower of thickset fat stacked on fat. Yeah, McGangBang might be a suitable name.. I'd say you'd be someone that were being gang-banged by Mackers by eating this mutant miscreation.

Dinner:

And the dinner dish for tonight is actually more of a Choshoku dish (breakfast) - Tamago to sakana bisuketto (Egg and Fish Biscuit) I'll be damned if this didn't come out just so fine and dandy that I couldn't believe my eyes. Everything is so precise and surgical on it, it's awesome.

A home-made biscuit, whipped eggs with a slight teriyaki sauce in them (also home-made), bell peppers, a slice of cucumber, white cream sauce, and of course white fish - Sides included a Strawberry Honey Anpan (Sweet Roll) and cream satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) - James ate this like a fucking beast. I'm guessing it was really good because it certainly didn't last long.

One rare thing I achieved was perfection with the bread which I'm just tickled pink about. The biscuit is actually solid and doesn't have cracks or other such ugliness to it, it just looks so damn clean and perfectly baked.

And from the side-view I think those colours just WORK, they're very breakfasty - Yea baby! How do ya like me now!?!