Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

Wonka Ice Cream Review!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Breakfast Bananas & Prissy Pancakes

I'm banana's for banana's.

Saying that has probably earned me a little pain today, I suspect as soon as James see's that I said that he'll probably smack me or some such.. Honestly? I probably kind of disturb it. That was too cliche.

By the way no matter who you are, where you are, or what your reasons you should ABSOLUTELY watch this video NO excuses.

What's a more perfect breakfast food, though? What food is more synonymous with morning meals than the banana? Everyone knows the banana and most people do associate it with breakfast because of it's popularity as a sliced condiment to go on top of cereal.. But you know what's better than simple sliced banana's on cereal? Cereal that tastes like banana's.

Sure you may argue that the real thing is better than something simply flavoured but I'd say fuck you, where's your sense of adventure? Where's your sense of fun and ridiculousness? Because it's well and good to have actual banana's on cereal but when you've got cereal that just tastes like banana's or involves some more fake form of banana's you've got something more creative and novel, something more unique and cool, something that isn't the run of the mill and gives you something more fun. It's more fun to have a cereal that looks nothing like banana's and tastes like banana's than it is just to slice one.. Anyone can slice one, you've got to really look for banana flavoured foods.

Kellogg's Corn Flakes with Instant Banana's:
Not just normal banana's, instant banana's! Which means the bastards are dried and have to reconstitute themselves in your milk, that's just plain fun! This cereal was introduced in 1963 so it's an older cereal and right from the get go I've got to say, I love the mascot. I love the mascot on the box, I can't help but seeing one thing when I look at this guy..
So Kellogg's is responsible for the infamous banana flasher several years before he would attain any great level of popularity. The banana flasher also evidently spoo'd all up in my cereal because that's the only reason I can connect this mascot to this cereal that has crusty dried bits of banana flakes in it. I KNOW you just connected the image in your mind so have fun with that and we'll just skip along in the article.

This mental image is slightly more disturbing when you consider that the banana flakes in this cereal had a tendency to turn your milk a discerning shade of brown.. An interesting and.. Unique shade of brown.. Which is even more disturbing when you consider the mascot, banana flasher, and the fact that this is not a chocolate cereal... It's banana.. It's supposed to be yellow... Not brown..

One thing about these freeze-dried banana's is also that they did not reconstitute completely giving them a kind of rubbery and sometimes crunchy consistency. In the end with this cereal it was largely a matter of personal taste and opinion.. You may have had this cereal and loved it, it might of been great to you.. But a lot of people thought it was disgusting and considered the banana flakes to be wholly unappetizing. Myself? I'm just impressed there was a cereal with freeze-dried banana slices back in the 60s - I wish it were still around honestly but isn't that the story of my life?

Banana Frosted Flakes:
Surprise surprise, you know.. Although the above cereal was discontinued in 1966 the cereal's life-span and story wasn't over yet. Oh, no.. These things have a way of reanimating themselves like so many zombies and marching back into our lives to feast upon the nostalgia of our memories.

These were introduced in 1981 and were largely a reintroduction of Kellogg's earlier entry into the foray, the above Corn Flakes with Instant Banana's although the banana's in this cereal were a bit different than the freeze-dried milk-browning banana's from the Corn Flakes..  Amusingly the box even reads "Frosted Flakes of Corn" - Corn? Frosted? Flakes? So one could say these are a type of.... Corn.. Flake?

Either way that fucking tiger looks suggestive to me like he's trying to seduce the viewer of the box by peeling the banana in a pornographic fashion with it so close to his open and waiting mouth, hot breath wafting over the length of the potassium perkiness between his soft gentle fingers.. Baow chicka baow waaow!

This cereal was kind of weird though because instead of the banana flakes being individual from the cereal itself they tended to be clumped and kind of 'pasted' by some unknown glazing to the pieces of cereal. Don't know what that was about or why but it kind of detracted from the cereal to be quite honest. If I wanted banana in my cereal I wanted banana in my cereal, I want my damned dehydrated freeze-dried pieces of banana as their own individual disgusting or delicious chunks, I don't care which; they shouldn't be a part of the actual pieces of cereal either way. How am I meant to meticulously and obsessively pick pieces of banana from the cereal if I don't have individual banana pieces in my cereal after all?

Banana Nut Cheerios:
One of the best recent cereals is a surprise because normally at least when I personally think of Cheerios as being largely bland, uninteresting, and generally kind of gross.. I don't know, Cheerios to me have always been a shitty cereal we give to babies because babies don't know any better and will fucking eat anything including bugs. This is not food meant for people who have developed any even slight preferences in food and towards flavour.. These Cheerios though? They grab my perception, grip it by pig-tails, and face-fuck it with an angry fury.

These are Cheerios but Cheerios that taste strongly of fucking Banana Bread, delicious, warm, and fruity banana bread complete with a hint of nuttiness. My frickin' god, so delicious. Honestly one of the things that works with this is that if you pay attention, reaaally close attention past the strong flavour of banana then you'll notice that the Cheerios don't actually taste like Cheerios, they're kind of.. I don't know.. A little like Corn Chex.. This, mind you is a really good thing; it's delicious and works well with this amazing banana flavour.

There don't seem to be any actual nuts in this cereal and the hint of nuttiness is very unique, it's kind of under pronounced but it works as well with the rest of the cereal.. It's kind of like they took a hunk of banana bread and shoved it into cereal. I don't know how one would do that but I suspect some strange Oompa Loompa magic to play a part in it.

This beautiful and perfect dish is Choshoku-gyo Dorayaki (Breakfast Fish Gong-Fried) basically a Japanese breakfast pancake - Look upon it and salivate! SALIVAAAATE AND DESIRE MY COOKING!
A fish with a delicious lime and soy Japanese Tartar resting atop beautifully pan cooked Dorayaki (Pancakes) with a mixed-berry sweet syrup - Man that came out nice!
The Anpan (Sweet Roll) featured a single gummy-candy hidden inside of it in the Anko (Sweet Red Bean Paste) which means when cooked the gummy became molten and filled the inside with a delicious fruit slime mixed in with the Anko itself and the other side? A buttered baked potato! Yum!

No comments:

Post a Comment

COMMENTS ARE MODERATED AND WILL BE APPROVED WITHIN 24 HOURS OR LESS (almost always less) OF ENTRY; If you're abusive or obnoxious, your comment will be deleted without word. Being abusive and obnoxious is OUR job. Thanks.