Fast Food Frenzy 2 & Cocoa Culiomancery

Fast-food, it's all over. It's bound to be in your life in some way and even if you don't eat it you see it, you smell it, and you hear about it. Some fast-food though stands out among others, some of it is truly remarkable, strange, or disgusting and disturbing. It's always fun to see what fast-food restaurants with their complete lack of regard for the health of human-beings come up with and whether good or bad we find ourselves frequently surprised by the crazy and frenzied creations that these fast-food chains churn out on a regular basis.

I myself find that I'm constantly impressed when a fast-food chain actually churns something out that I want to try, the McLobster for example;

A sandwich which features honest to goodness lobster, I'd try it in a heart beat.. I mean when did Mackers start serving higher-tier food-stuffs? This almost isn't fast-food and it actually looks appetizing even in person and yes, I am serious. The untouched real product actually looks good, just about as good as the touched up marketing photograph. Surprising but true.

As I understand the McLobster is available only in Eastern Canada or New England.

So with such winners amongst a sea of disgusting, bubbling, grease covered losers, what else is there? Weeell, let's just see some of the entries, shall we?

McRice Burger:

Mackers did a good job of touching this up, a really good job. Surprisingly enough it looks quite appetizing and the photograph here makes me want one. I mean it looks absolutely delicious, doesn't it? A little.. Odd.. But delicious.. Yeah, you'd think.. Until you saw the real thing.

OH JESUS FUCK CHRIST, BACK ABERRANT ABOMINABLE SPAWN OF SATAN! BACK TO YOUR DARK SANCTUM OF EVIL! BAAACK!

And while I fend this thing off with a pitch-fork I'll try to type with my other hand and finish this article off HAH! HUUUH! En-guard!

Basically this burger is two rice patties HAH! HYAA! serving as the replacement for the buns, a McChicken Fillet, lettuce, cabbage, and sauce. The rice patties are fried which is kind of disgusting because as you can see Mackers doesn't give  a shite what their food looks like and it ends up.. Well.. Not looking like food at all.

Is it just me or are two rice patties serving as the body of the burger that have a truly slimy and greasy consistency just completely gag-worthy? I mean.. I'd really blow chunks if I weren't of higher constitution.. Just.. Yughhh.. Good thing this is only available in the Philippines.

FINALLY STABBED THE LITTLE BASTARD! Hah! ...moving along now


Ebi Filet-O:

I love sea-food, I've loved sea-food fast-food sandwiches in the past far more than I would have loved any other fast-food creation. Fast-food chains have far more of a chance of getting a 'hook' in me (get it? AHHH!! NO HITTING!) when they resort to sea-food, I'm one to proclaim myself a 'Big Cat' after all, you expect me not to love sea-food? Yeah.. Right..

This is the Mackers Ebi Filet-O, a small little deep-fried patty made of small shrimp pressed together into a.. Well.. Patty.. Then deep fried to golden-brown like most things in fast-food chains and topped with a mayo-based Japanese tartar style sauce and ice berg lettuce. To be perfectly honest? It's highly appetizing, it even looks damn nice. I've never had one but from what I understand from those who have is that it's actually one of Mackers higher quality sandwiches and is indeed as good as it looks (though definitely not good for you.) - Given the chance I'd definitely try this one.

Sadly the Ebi Filet-O is available only in Japan.

Le Croque McDo:

Interesting little entry here, a French entry - The Le Croque McDo, honestly?

....I fucking want one..

I don't know why, it's so delicious looking.. All my hatred of fast-food melts away like the melted cheese in this bastard.. Even the untouched version, the real-life version looks tasty even while compared to the touched up marketing photograph. I know I shouldn't but dear god I want to try one of these..

This is Mackers take on the European melted Emmental cheese & ham sandwich and is an appetizing entry and the best for last entry on the list. Ooey-gooey Swiss Cheese melted inside the sandwich itself, toasted English-muffin style buns, and warm vaguely smoky ham. Mm, god.. It sounds good, it looks good, it's just.. Good..

..Pardon while I book a flight to France and a table at the first Mackers I can find..

Yes, if I could afford it.. I fucking would.. Just for this sandwich..


BONUS Printed Fun Pop-Tarts:

Last two Printed Fun Pop-Tarts which makes me a sad Big Cat. I'm going to miss these, I wish I had more but alas.. They had to go some time and they were enjoyed while they lasted, it's rare I get frivolous things like this. - Today's? A snowman with a rabbit that looks suspiciously to have a raepfaec and a retarded polar bear with two chubby penguins derping it up on a no-horse open sleigh.

Yes, it appears every Pop-Tart in the box had a unique picture. Impressive.

Dinner:

Sheer and complete win with dinner tonight, this is Kokoa no omuretsu (Cocoa Omelet) and came out with no flaws at all. Just amazingly cooked and put together, I'm very happy with it and I think that I could have scarcely hoped for more.

Of course it's an Omelet with mushrooms, broccoli, and bell peppers all topped by a Cocoa Sauce and cooked Japanese style with an infusion of ginger-root and for it's sides? Gingerbread Anpan (Sweet Roll) and a lightly salted steamed rice! Beautiful!

It was a little more difficult this time to gauge how James felt about this but he did eat the Omelet with some disturbing speed so I'm assuming it was really good - I myself can't say I really care, I'm very proud of this dish and I would be either way. It's a very pretty and well put together Omelet.

Lookit that! And believe it or not Cocoa and Eggs actually go really well together. You may think it sounds gross but it's quite the opposite!