Some of the most impressively aberrant and disturbing products have been spawned from the mind-set corporations have of 'who gives a fuck?', I mean look at the cereals of the past.. Hell.. The cereals of current day sometimes follow this trend, it's as if someone just starts throwing random ingredients in and decides that forty LBS of high fructose corn-syrup wasn't enough to sweeten the puffed deep-fried doughnut holes and that we need a second syrup in corn-syrup as well as sugar and... Fuck it.. For good measure let's add some brown sugar, crack cocaine, and methamphetamine.. Oh a good fifty drums of speed and PCP too just in case they can still barely function.
In the spirit of such products and to prove I'm not over reacting, I'm going to introduce our first product;
By the way, there's a fucking disclaimer on this bitch; "Not recommended for pregnant women, children, or persons sensitive to caffeine" - MOTHER FUCK!
I've had one of these and let me confirm, you eat one of these and the ensuing sugar and caffeine rush will push you straight over the goddamn edge and you'll be rocketing through the world and capable of making Sisyphus look like a sissy bitch when you rip his goddamn grandmothers left arm off, beat him with it, jack his boulder, and finally spurn the Gods by rocketing that motherfucker STRAIGHT TO THE MOOOOOOOOON!
Thing that sucks is these weren't very good. They were kind of bitter and really didn't taste much like a normal Butterfinger or even have the same consistency or texture, they were rather unpleasant which I guess shouldn't be surprising for something that converts your ass into a rocket engine and your stomach into the receptacle for high-octane rocket propellant.
Rocky Road Candy Bar:
..Good, I'm glad we're all on the same page now. Blah blah blah, horrible for you, marshmallow congealed blood, high fructose corn-syrup, you won't poo right for months, and when you do it might resemble something the Easter Bunny would shit out.
....You thought those were marshmallow filled eggs? HAH!
I've only had a Rocky Road Bar once and I've only had what is largely a marshmallow candy-bar a handful of times - That being said, I can't understand why there aren't more. Marshmallow and chocolate go great together. There's the marshmallow with a gooey pull/rubberiness and it isn't too sweet but just tasty enough while the chocolate packs enough of a sweet punch to rot your goddamn teeth out your head in seconds but in a good way and then finally there's the cashews which add a very nice and pleasing crunch to the airy texture and consistency of the marshmallow and chocolate. It's quite enjoyable but at the same time very light for a snack like this.
Mackers El Maco & Shaker Fries:
That I a hater of all things fast-food and a thoroughly fervent opposition of anything Mackers would say that says something about how goddamn good this burger was. And it was pure and utter indulgence, no getting around that fact.
The El Maco was a disgusting abomination that tasted so good, essentially a normal Mackers double-pounder burger but taken up to delicious heights by the inclusion of it's salsa, cheddar, and sour cream sauce which was included on the burger and the amazing Shaker Fries which came along with it and included their own shake bag and barbeque seasoning which you could shake into the bag. Oh my god, you have no idea unless you've tried it. The El Maco was delicious and unfortunately only graced us with it's amazing goodness for a short period and only in very limited locations. I had one while traveling.
If you ever get the chance to try this, diet or not; forsake everything and try it. Absolutely amazing, these goddamn burgers are like crack!
And the commercials are so delightfully goddamn racist.
Interesting note and point, these photographs are the first photographs to be taken with my brand new phone which is awesome as hell and just bad ass as can be. It's a Pantech Pursuit II - A smart phone with a 2MegaPixel camera and is green which matches my jacket and usual colour coordinated outfits, my favourite colours being green and brown which is what I wear most of the time.
Good night all in all I think.