A Satellite Full Of Love & Pimpin' Poultry

It was in 1988 that we were introduced to something magical, something special, and something that for many years to come would be remembered as an epic, amazing, and truly hilarious thing. It made me laugh, it made me smile, it made me love, it made me hurt, it made me cry, and it made me.. Uh.. Cry.. A lot sometimes.. Oh yeah.. Cry, twitch, and shake while huddled in a fetal position.. Yup..

Forced to watch terrible B-Movies by the evil over-lords who had captured him, Joel Robinson was at the mercy or lack thereof of the wicked Dr. Clayton Forrester and his assistant, TV's Frank.

Oh for some of these movies there was indeed deep hurting, such aberrant abortions should have never seen the light of day.. My god the horror.. The horror..

The story starts with Joel Robinson and Dr. Forrester who in an act of utter sadism chooses to launch Joel, a janitor working for Gizmonic Institute, into space and force him to watch truly horrible and amazingly terribad fucking b-movies. The reason behind it? Not just sadism but to measure how much bad-movie-watching it takes to drive a person crazy, and to pinpoint the perfect B-movie to use as a weapon to take over the world.

....I think a white lab mouse with a large head and a tendency to sound like Orson Wells may have had such a plan at one point in time.. I digress..

Drifting in space is lonely business and so Joel, evidently a very talented Janitor opts to put his miscellaneous skills to use and builds himself friends to accompany him on his voyage and torture upon the S.O.L. - No, that doesn't stand for 'shit out of luck', although Joel seemed to often be, it stands for Satellite Of Love; Joel's prison.

Joel now armed with a cast of cooky characters, Crow T. Robot (The Gold Robot), Tom Servo (The Red), Gypsy (The Purple), and Cambot (The Camera) drifts through space subjected to horrible terrible movies that would make the heartiest constitution begin to fall apart and as consequence according to the theme song 'Now keep in mind Joel can't control when the movies begin or end because he used those special parts to make his robot friends; Robot Rollcall!' - Well.. He tries to keep his sanity with the help of his robot friends anyway..

You may be wondering why Joel would just avoid entering the theater to avoid the movies? Well.. That's because they shut the life-support off in the rest of the ship when the movies begin effectively forcing the bots and Joel into the theater. Either take the movie or die. Rather wicked..

Later seasons would change villains, introducing Pearl Forrester, Brain Guy, and Bobo and changing the victim when Joel escaped to Mike Nelson.

Mike seeming to be a little less of a fucking pot-head than Joel who seemed constantly blazed out of his skull and conversely that may also explain Tom Servo's design.. He kind of looks like a walking bong.. What do you want to bet that Joel toked off poor Servo once every now and then? I'm guessing so..

And above is Pearl Forrester, Brain Guy, and Bobo - The villains.

While truly epic shit happens between both groups of villains and victims, I can't choose a favourite. Joel was a little more muted and Mike was more 'perky', Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank were more.. Uh.. Yeah.. And Pearl, Brainguy, and Bobo were very comedy troupe.. If I had to suggest I'd suggest all seasons and groups equally; watch it all. None of it's bad.. Well.. Except for the movies.. Also.. Beware MANOS *sobs* The Hands of FATE! - You have been warned.

Now let's see.. The best thing to do at this point? Share some of the best (or worst?) moments from MST3K and segments, lets see if I can't show you why this was magical and why this was an epic show;

Prince of Space:

What can be said about Prince of Space? A dubbed Japanese movie that was shite to begin with, Krankor, and the joy of horrible translation. This was a terrible movie made great by the MST3K boys. Truly hilarious.

The Touch of Satan:

Another truly hilarious one, The Touch of Satan; definitely inspired by illicit substances. Mind where the fish lives.

Space Mutiny:

Blast Hardcheese! Punch Rockgroin! These names are synonymous with heroism and manliness! SPLINT CHESTHAIR! - This movie was a cheese fest but was amazingly done by the MST3K boys!

#1 - THE FUNNIEST
Mr. B Natural:

Let me start by warning you, don't drink anything watching this one. Don't eat anything either, you'll fucking die. This is the single funniest and most hilarious thing from MST3K hands down. This is a shining example of their epic nature. Enjoy... Or I'll killll yoooou.

 Not that I'd suggest pirating or watching through illegal means but most episodes of MST3K or at least many can be easily found online. I'd suggest finding some way to see MST3K if possible, I can almost assure that you won't be disappointed. It's pretty much the funniest thing ever made.. Ever..

PS - Th.. The Master w.. would totally app.. approve of th.. this additional entry..

 Thank you, Torgo..

And may I state my life is currently AWESOME - Lo and behold the other night we head out to the local Walmart to do a little shopping.. On our way home we stopped by the local gas-station, a small place called Wally-World which seems to be one of those 'out of the way' little gas-stations that might be some sort of big corporate name but this store in particular feels and seems like it's not - Point being..

As we stroll through I notice they've got a great deal of awesome in their store. Chips, candy, soda's, and the like that other gas-stations just don't have.. Then something caught my eye..

You may remember my earlier blogging about Zotz, the fizzing candy.. Well amazingly and epically Wally-World has delivered with utter win, what should I find in a box near the register other than something I haven't seen since the freakin' 90s;

Torgo is right. The Master would goddamn approve, AMAZING! YESSS! Total win!


Dinner:

Tonight's dinner is Gorudofinga no tsuita (Gold Fingers) and is basically a Japanese Kara-aage done in the style of chicken tenders.

I'm quite happy with how these turned out, they perfectly browned and didn't leave anything to be desired and the Japanese variation of Honey Mustard sauce that I made to go on top of them really worked - There are three sides interestingly enough this time.

Vegetables which consist of sweet peas, mushrooms, and broccoli, Peppermint satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash), and a Peanut Butter Double Chocolate Anpan (Sweet Roll) so pretty winning dish all in all.