Scrumptious Scooby Snacks & Sampled Salmon

I love Scooby Doo!, I always have. There's something magical about the idea of a doobie-smoking dog and his best bud who travel around with a group of clearly mentally unstable teens/young adults who are known for wearing things like ascots and being extremely danger-prone to the point of ridiculousness.

The amount of food imbibed by either Scooby or Shaggy is also enough to probably feed a starving nation for years. Whatever type of doobies they were blazing had to be some motherfucking good shit. The type of shit you toke and you're never the same because clearly Scooby and Shaggy were both very 'unique' and 'special' types of people.

You also can't ignore how awesome the premise of Scooby Doo! was, you'd think every time they came across a 'haunted' place or some place menaced by some monster that they'd automatically realize it was someone's scheme to scare everyone off, steal something, or some other convoluted bullshit. No one in the Scooby Doo! universe seems capable of doing shit the normal way, instead we've got to dress up as a homosexual big-foot and charge visitors and business-men with our holographic-ally projected zombie ghost-pirates. You also have to kind of wonder if anyone in real life has ever taken a shot at trying a Scooby Doo! scheme? That'd be awesome if they had.

Throughout their years of life from 1969 to current day Scooby Doo! merchandise has been BIG and of course no merchandising line based off a heavily tokin' dog and his best bud is complete without a metric fuck-ton of munchies. Scooby Doo! has spawned many epic snacks and we're about to look at some of them! Scooby Doobie Doo, bitches.

(PS: Speaking of merchandising, this van sold on ebay. God I wish I were rich enough to buy it)

Scooby Doo! Cereals:

-Cinnamon Marshmallow Scooby Doo! Cereal-

An entry from 2002, this is definitely and certainly not one of the oldest food-stuffs ever introduced in the Scooby Doo! line and certainly not the first cereal ever introduced. I mean really, it's Scooby Doo! though this was a pretty damn cool cereal.

The cereal pieces themselves were cinnamon-flavoured multi-grain cereal bits that were bone-shaped, marshmallows shaped like shaggy, the mystery machine, and 'the ghost' who is evidently according to the boxes picture I'm left to assume is actually The Phantom Shadow;

Although giving him a name like 'The Ghost' seems to fuck with us a little, you're not going to name him outright? Fine, fuck you. We don't need to know who he is, fuck his damn mask. He's just 'The Ghost', whatever.

Now you might be thinking this shit is Lucky Charms, you'd be fucking wrong and you'd be slapped by your Mothers nine inch dildo in your wrong face. Oh no, this wasn't the same. The cinnamon flavour on the cereal-bits really set this apart and made it considerably more delicious. You want to know what it tasted like? Think about a sweetened Lucky Charms meeting Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Awesome, right? If it's not, toke one and then come back and read this; awesome, right? Yeah.. Thought so..

-Scooby Doo! Berry Bones Cereal-

And then there's the inevitable berry product, it seems like every cereal now-a-days has to have some sort of berry version. A more recent introduction, this is from around 2005-2006 and was nothing truly special unfortunately, it was more or less bone-shaped cereal like the above product and tasted like Cap'n Crunch. Basically it was Oops! All Berries if Oops! All Berries were made bone-shaped. Good but nothing extravagant or truly mind-bogglingly original.

...Yeah, well.. That's all I have to say about this one, sorry. It's fucking hard to figure out something to say about a re-tooled product that's the same as other products that have come countless times before it, I mean.. It's only gimmick is that it's Scooby Doo! - Given that's got some marketing pull but still.. I'm not a goddamn miracle worker.

Scooby Doo! Chocolate Mud Spread:

Let me explain something.. Australia has an odd sort of obsession with spreads, ever since the aberrant abomination Vegemite was concocted Australia has been majorly obsessed with the idea of making everything into a spread, gods I don't know why; I hate Vegemite. Thankfully there's never been a Scooby Doo! Vegemite released so I've been blessedly able to avoid having to try and review it.

'Chocolate Mud Spread' is simple enough, it's fucking chocolate in spreadable form. Why do they feel the need to call it 'Mud Spread'? Because they're fucking retarded apparently, that's the only reason I can see or figure out. Whatever.. This shit is confusing, what's the obsession with 'spreads', all that this product consists of is chocolate goddamn icing. CHOCOLATE GODDAMN ICING!

...It's not bad, it's just.. It's not special either.. And it confounds me because they market it as 'Chocolate Mud Spread' which makes me think it should be something other than chocolate icing.. Oh and 25% less sugar? Than what? The leading arterial clogging abominable chocolate icing? Big whoopin' deal because what's 25% less sugar going to save me?! Honestly! How asinine!

But I guess if you want to buy chocolate spread and it has to be Scooby Doo! then this is your spread.. My main problem is that my mind being as it is, I couldn't purchase or use this without visualizing myself spreading Scooby Scat on whatever I was spreading it upon with this product.. Yeehck.. And going off the consistency Scooby either had some really good shit and really bad munchies or really bad shit and really bad munchies. Fuckin' hell..

Scooby Doo! Scooby Snacks:

They're not special, they're not particularly unique, and they're not particularly impressive but they have great marketing and being marketed as 'Scooby Snacks' automatically makes them appeal to me and probably a great number of other people and kids in the world.

You may remember if you've visited an American Mall in the past decade or so a little store called 'Suncoast Motion Picture Company', 'Suncoast' for short. Suncoast isn't really around anymore because they filed for bankruptcy and they're more or less gone forever, the store itself was 'discontinued' in effect. Kind of sad since they'd been around since 1986 and they were the ones responsible for these Scooby Snacks.

These Scooby Snacks were blatantly just vanilla wafer biscuits that were re-purposed and re-branded into the Scooby Snack name. Amusingly they were introduced around the same time as another product that was marketed under the Scooby Snack name and it leads me to wonder if anyone ever got the two boxes confused, bought the wrong one, or picked up the wrong one and started eating..

Yeaah.. One's gotta kind of wonder about the intelligence in marketing a human consumable biscuit and then a dog consumable biscuit under the same name. Sure the box is a different colour but I've seen people make mistakes and confuse products with less to work with. You think that never happened with these? You hold too much faith in humanity. Trust me.

Of course there's also a normal Scooby Doo! Vanilla Wafer.. Well.. Normal in the sense that they're the same Vanilla Wafers as are packaged in the Scooby Snacks with the exception of being dyed grooooovy colours. Because obviously even though we're repackaging the same product under a new name a little bit of purple and orange dye makes it all better. Still, I'd buy them.. They're Scooby Doo! - It's a name I trust.. I really shouldn't but I can't distrust something so awesome that also had a Push-Up in the past

Seriously, I genuinely love Scooby Doo, he's awesome.

I am totally unashamed to say I sleep with Scooby Doo. Oh baby.

Dinner:

Tonight's dinner is Doresshingusosu no Sake (Dressing Sauce Salmon) and I gotta say started off last night not so great, I was making the dressing sauce for the first time which is a Japanese Ranch Dressing type of sauce and well.. It made James recoil when he taste-tested it for me.. But I worked on it and eventually managed to fix it and smooth it out. The dish actually went from 'oh my god what a disaster' to complete perfection.

A potato, bell peppers, broccoli, carrots, peas, and salmon all cooked in a delicious Japanese Ranch Dressing sauce which I made myself, this dish was especially good smelling and James didn't seem to have any problems wolfing it down; I'm guessing it was pretty damn good.

All in all this was a damned good winning dish in the end. Everything actually came out as an end result surprisingly perfectly, I'm very proud of it because it was originally a failure and I managed to save it in the clutch.