The amount of food imbibed by either Scooby or Shaggy is also enough to probably feed a starving nation for years. Whatever type of doobies they were blazing had to be some motherfucking good shit. The type of shit you toke and you're never the same because clearly Scooby and Shaggy were both very 'unique' and 'special' types of people.
You also can't ignore how awesome the premise of Scooby Doo! was, you'd think every time they came across a 'haunted' place or some place menaced by some monster that they'd automatically realize it was someone's scheme to scare everyone off, steal something, or some other convoluted bullshit. No one in the Scooby Doo! universe seems capable of doing shit the normal way, instead we've got to dress up as a homosexual big-foot and charge visitors and business-men with our holographic-ally projected zombie ghost-pirates. You also have to kind of wonder if anyone in real life has ever taken a shot at trying a Scooby Doo! scheme? That'd be awesome if they had.
Throughout their years of life from 1969 to current day Scooby Doo! merchandise has been BIG and of course no merchandising line based off a heavily tokin' dog and his best bud is complete without a metric fuck-ton of munchies. Scooby Doo! has spawned many epic snacks and we're about to look at some of them! Scooby Doobie Doo, bitches.
(PS: Speaking of merchandising, this van sold on ebay. God I wish I were rich enough to buy it)
Scooby Doo! Cereals:
-Cinnamon Marshmallow Scooby Doo! Cereal-
The cereal pieces themselves were cinnamon-flavoured multi-grain cereal bits that were bone-shaped, marshmallows shaped like shaggy, the mystery machine, and 'the ghost' who is evidently according to the boxes picture I'm left to assume is actually The Phantom Shadow;
Now you might be thinking this shit is Lucky Charms, you'd be fucking wrong and you'd be slapped by your Mothers nine inch dildo in your wrong face. Oh no, this wasn't the same. The cinnamon flavour on the cereal-bits really set this apart and made it considerably more delicious. You want to know what it tasted like? Think about a sweetened Lucky Charms meeting Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Awesome, right? If it's not, toke one and then come back and read this; awesome, right? Yeah.. Thought so..
-Scooby Doo! Berry Bones Cereal-
...Yeah, well.. That's all I have to say about this one, sorry. It's fucking hard to figure out something to say about a re-tooled product that's the same as other products that have come countless times before it, I mean.. It's only gimmick is that it's Scooby Doo! - Given that's got some marketing pull but still.. I'm not a goddamn miracle worker.
Scooby Doo! Chocolate Mud Spread:
'Chocolate Mud Spread' is simple enough, it's fucking chocolate in spreadable form. Why do they feel the need to call it 'Mud Spread'? Because they're fucking retarded apparently, that's the only reason I can see or figure out. Whatever.. This shit is confusing, what's the obsession with 'spreads', all that this product consists of is chocolate goddamn icing. CHOCOLATE GODDAMN ICING!
...It's not bad, it's just.. It's not special either.. And it confounds me because they market it as 'Chocolate Mud Spread' which makes me think it should be something other than chocolate icing.. Oh and 25% less sugar? Than what? The leading arterial clogging abominable chocolate icing? Big whoopin' deal because what's 25% less sugar going to save me?! Honestly! How asinine!
But I guess if you want to buy chocolate spread and it has to be Scooby Doo! then this is your spread.. My main problem is that my mind being as it is, I couldn't purchase or use this without visualizing myself spreading Scooby Scat on whatever I was spreading it upon with this product.. Yeehck.. And going off the consistency Scooby either had some really good shit and really bad munchies or really bad shit and really bad munchies. Fuckin' hell..
Scooby Doo! Scooby Snacks:
These Scooby Snacks were blatantly just vanilla wafer biscuits that were re-purposed and re-branded into the Scooby Snack name. Amusingly they were introduced around the same time as another product that was marketed under the Scooby Snack name and it leads me to wonder if anyone ever got the two boxes confused, bought the wrong one, or picked up the wrong one and started eating..
Seriously, I genuinely love Scooby Doo, he's awesome.