White Wonders & Spiffy Spuds

White Chocolate is awesome, purely fucking awesome. There are few things in the world better than White Chocolate, in fact I daresay that White Chocolate may actually be the epitome of human-kinds creations, the absolute pinnacle; the best.

White Chocolate is also interesting because unlike your normal Chocolate and fuck your normal Chocolate you vanilla bitch White Chocolate is typically made of different stuff, usually consisting of Cocoa Butter, Sugar, Milk Solids, and Salt - White Chocolate is a derivative of chocolate as it does not contain cocoa solids, it's made in the same way Milk Chocolate or Dark Chocolate is but lacks cocoa paste, liquor or powder. Don't care what anyone says or how much they hate White Chocolate, it's my belief that White Chocolate is widely superior to Milk or Dark Chocolate and I goddamn love it like in an unholy and unnatural way. If I ever have some big tier party or traditional wedding the one thing I want without question is a goddamn fountain of White Chocolate and for others to understand that I am going to do oddly and disturbingly blatant sexual things to this Chocolate Fountain. People will be mentally scarred.

Only thing better than White Chocolate is White Fudge, that said we're moving on straight into the article at full speeDOHMYGODAPEDESTRIAN! OH GOD HE'S DEAD, HE'S ALL IN THE GRILL OF THE CAR LIKE SO MUCH BEEF CHUCK! DEAR GOD! OH BY ALL THAT'S HOLY AND GOOOOD! WHYY!?

...Anyway...

Hershey's Cookies & Creme Confetti:

So this was a pretty rare bar released as Limited Edition, they're no longer around and even when they were they were really hard to find. I found mine in an upper-scale grocery store which carried the shit that only the rich kids in the area could afford to buy, IE - Candy like this that was 'special', special at least compared to our fucking pauper goddamn Necco Wafers and commoner Snickers. We suck, we were ghetto, and we were the Charlie Bucket of the neighborhood. Always have been, always will be. That's fine though, Charlie Bucket ended up with a fucking crazy-ass chocolate factory and insane orange men with green hair that sang working for him. Bit of an upgrade, huh?

I firmly believe Oompa Loompa's were crazy as hell and would fuck you up proper. That's me. If given the choice between Demon Minions and Oompa Loompa Minions I'd choose the Oompa Loompa's, I think their seemingly jovial and musical demeanor belies their true and vicious nature. Mark my words, them bastards is dangerous. They'll juice you.

In spite of being a 'fancy' candy-bar available only in up-scale and over-priced stores it seemed the Hershey's White Chocolate Confetti Bar was really just a White Chocolate Cookies 'n' Creme bar that had some colourful cookie pieces in it. That's it.. You weren't missing much by having say a normal White Chocolate Cookies 'n' Creme Bar aside from an array of colour that looked like something a dog shit after eating a box of Crayola.

..Well that's appetizing..

The bar itself actually is, it's sweet; very sweet. It's also full of chunks of colourful randomized bits of cookie, basically Oreo and it's damn good. The real appeal of this bar? The colours, durh. That's as simple as it is, like I said. It's a damned Cookies 'n' Creme White Chocolate Bar which already exists that has special colourful cookie bits. Colour is better but not by much.

Kit Kat White:

Okay so I want to get this straight, I like Kit Kat Bars, they're not bad. What I don't like, though? Well.. Check the nutritional information.. GODDAMN STEP BACK!!!!!

Now that I've pushed my heart back into my chest and my breathing has slowed from full-on hyperventilation to a stunned panting can I just point out that a single stick of this Kit Kat Bar, a single stick from this four stick bar is 220 Calories and 110 of Fat? The fuck? Did you make this candy bar out of concentrated essence of lard, Hershey's? Because I literally cannot comprehend the idea of something like this being this bad, it's just a layered wafer biscuit and white chocolate, how do you make a calorie bomb out of something so simple!? How!? HOOOOW!?

Partially it may have to do with the fact that the White Chocolate on this chocolate-bar is way thicker than the normal variety, it's also incredibly pungent and strong, the White Chocolate itself is a bit more dominant in this bar as compared to the original variety in which the Milk Chocolate yields a bit more to the wafer biscuit inside; the wafer biscuit in these is given no quarter. Is this bad? No - It's good. In my opinion at least the thickness of the White Chocolate on this bar is better than it's regular counter-part, the regular counter-part now seems a bit bland and cheap comparatively as if we've been jipped on what could have been and sold a product that wasn't quite up to standards. These are worth a try if you can spare the calories and fat content but shit.. I mean.. Fucking hell that's a scary Nutrition Facts label.


Reese's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups:

Yeah, I know. It's another fuckin' scary Nutrition Facts label.. Trust me, I know.. I'm confused why and how people insist upon making things so incredibly unhealthy and yet when it comes to Reese's I almost don't care because it's Chocolate and Peanut Butter and when it comes to Reese's White, I definitely don't care. It's White Goddamn Chocolate and Peanut Butter, the fuck in here don't I like? NOTHING. THAT'S WHAT.

Chocolate and Peanut Butter is a perfect, inspired, and Holy combination. There's almost nothing in this world that is more perfect than the marriage of these two things.. Sadly they're both incredibly bad for you but I guess that's to be expected, if anything these are a guilty pleasure in that they're like crack cocaine is to a drug addict.. We know we shouldn't, we know it's bad for us, but we're goddamn tweakin' man and we needs some Scooby Snacks!

White Chocolate is one of those things people either love or hate, my opinion considered people are going to either agree with me or aggressively disagree with me, I don't care. My opinion? White Chocolate is the perfect combination for Peanut Butter, fuck your Milk Chocolate, next to White Chocolate that's blasphemy and it doesn't even begin to elevate itself to the levels that White Chocolate does in it's amazing state of pure angelic perfection. The smooth, rich, and sweet White Chocolate is just wonderful with the salty and whipped consistency and flavour of the soft and creamy Peanut Butter inside, biting into one of these is an experience in and of itself; you'll cream your goddamn pants.

Dinner:

This is called Umi no supaddo (Spud of the Sea) and is a rather unique dish that I decided I was going to try rather out of the blue.

A potato of course topped by sweet peas, fish, mushrooms, and a special Sea-Sauce that sports cranberries I was pretty happy with how this turned out. The sides are a Milk Chocolate satsumaimomasshu (Sweet Potato Mash) and a double-sweetened honey-glazed Anpan (Sweet Roll)

Mhm! - This dish was eaten like it was going out of style, James inhaled it and said it was quite good; I'm even more proud of it than I was to begin with.