How about a hardcore goddamn axe for which to rip most mightily?
At any rate, sufficed to say the products offered in the line of Cap'n Crunch are many and varied (There's not an actual alcohol unfortunately) but the products we're really going to be touching upon are not wicked axes or powerful proofs but rather edibles from the strange to super!
Dragon Crunch Oatmeal:
A weirder product from 1991 which was ultimately never released, Dragon Crunch was Cap'n Crunch except Oatmeal style.. Yes, that's right.. Cap'n Crunch Oatmeal as strange as that sounds which came in multiple varieties including Strawberry, Apple Cinnamon, Tropical Fruit and Variety Pack which is kind of fucking redundant since Strawberry, Apple Cinnamon and Tropical Fruit are varied to begin with but what the fuck ever. That just meant you got ALL of the flavours in one box.. Or you would have if they'd ever released it.
I dunno, Cap'n Crunch Oatmeal would presumably be very crunchy for Oatmeal (I'd hope at least) and would sport some sweetness oatmeal otherwise did not have? If so, that sounds really good to me.. It's kind of a throw back to other oatmeal of the past that were so friggin' awesome but ultimately done away with.. Under Cover Bears Oatmeal or Cookie Blast Oatmeal being two that come straight to mind..
Introduced in 2004, Cap'n Crunch Carnival Berries didn't just change your milk the standard fare colours it changed your milk goddamn pink and all sorts of abnormal fucking colours. How many cereals can you think of that changed your milk a colour like pink/purple? Probably not many.. That's because it's a weird ass colour for cereal and milk.
Of course naturally the cereal didn't taste any different from the normal Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries but did that stop me from loving it? HELLS NO. PINK FUCKING MILK, BITCH!
Are You Afraid of the Dark? Crunch:Are You Afraid of the Dark?, as far as I'm concerned it was a great show of it's time and I miss it dearly. In 1996 Cap'n Crunch marketing at least in Canada saw fit to release this little gem, an Are You Afraid of the Dark Cap'n Crunch.. Or at least a box..
You know it's kind of sad really, I love it for it's marketing and I didn't hesitate to buy these at all because of the label on them which was the intention by Quaker but they had so much more potential to work with... Why no Crunch Berry Spiders, Snakes and Witches? Shit like that which would have gone so well with the theme of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and would have made such an awesome cereal? There could have been SO MUCH MORE done.
Alas this was the standard fare cereal inside what was simply an awesome box.
Yeah, it came out pretty great!