Outrageous Oreo's 3 & Company Cuisine

Oreo's, Oreo's, Oreo's - Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Hell yes there are a lot of Oreo's out there, a lot of Oreo's products too. Enough Oreo's have been made to circle the Earth 381 times or alternatively if you stacked them you could reach the Moon more than five goddamn times - That's a LOT of fuckin' Oreo's!

Clearly Oreo's are loved, who can say why? Even I in recent times have developed an odd love for them where I had at least in the past hated them with a fervor most wicked and powerful - Now I enjoy them, I don't know why..

Hell even the Martian Manhunter loves Oreo's - He'll fuckin' kill your ass for them.

It should be no surprise then that there's such a wide variety of Oreo's out there and Oreo related products and interestingly enough Oreo's seem to have more of a variety internationally than say in parts of the Western world as we've seen from the past entries on the Oreo - Why is it that Japan and places like it and in the East get the best of the best? Seriously, where's the justice?

Another random tid-bit is the fact that yearly more than 7.5 billion of these fuckers are consumed in some way or another - That's a LOT of goddamn Oreo's again! And while some of the newer products are full of complete awesome, some are just designed to fuck with your head.

But let's see what we can't dig up in the way of uniqueness - This is Outrageous Oreo's 3!

Krispie Kreme 'Cookies 'n Creme' Doughnut & Chiller:

Okay I'm kind of irritated to begin with because this is guilty of the redundancy that is commonly associated with Oreo's that irritates the shit out of me and that is calling the fuckers or anything associated with them 'Cookies 'n Creme' (Kreme in this case because Krispy Kreme - Hurr hurr, we're clever. Derp.) when you've got the right to use the actual fucking logo of OREO on your goddamn product.

..Seriously, I could understand if they didn't have the right to use the name 'OREO' but they've got the OREO logo right there in big fucking letters CLEARLY in goddamn sight - What's an Oreo if not a biscuit with a creme filling!? CALLING IT 'COOKIES 'N CREME' IS FUCKING REDUNDANT AND POINTLESS! You're reiterating what the god forsaken bastard is right then and there! FURTHERMORE WHAT THE HELL IS A CHILLER!? I guess this is some fancy name for Milk Shake or Smoothie? Because that's what it looks to be? ...Anyway..

I gotta say, this one scares me. To begin with doughnuts are reaaally unhealthy, I mean come on.. You're taking a fried chunk of dough and covering it in god knows how much random sugar and in the case of Oreo, 'creme' or in other words; congealed fat and sugar white filling and the remnants of so many biscuits. This is terrible, this is Lex goddamn Luthor terrible.

This is what's really scary is one of these doughnuts' stats;

400 calories
22g fat, 5g saturated fat, and 6g trans fat

Are these unhealthy? Uh, durrrh. The Chiller itself?

405 calories
13g fat, 6g saturated fat, and 2g trans fat

Yeah.. I'm gonna go ahead and say even if I had the chance, no. I'd never even consider trying this - That's terribad, that's just.. Wow.. But you know what's scary? I'VE GOT WORSE! Yeah! Let's segue right into the next nightmare of a product!

Domino's Pizza Oreo Dessert Pizza:

Generally I wouldn't consider Pizza that scary, well.. Not until I consider how most people eat it.. Did you know a single Pizza from Little Caesars is 2240 calories? Not factoring in the fat, saturated fat, and trans fat it's scary to consider most people will and would actually eat the whole pizza in one sitting themselves. No, I'm not kidding.. So what about this?

Aaactually the Oreo Dessert Pizza per slice is actually not as bad as a normal Pizza - I have to question.. What the fuck? Who broke reality and reason?

120 calories
4g fat, 1g saturated fat

And how the HELL is that even possible? I have no clue! Still.. As much as this is an acceptable number for a slice and a dessert I've got to question, Oreo Pizza? ...Seriously?

...You know even with my recent development of love for the Oreo I can't say this is appetizing in the slightest, in fact it's the exact opposite. This seems gag me with a spoon gross. Why would you want something like this? I just can't figure it out..

Oreo Frozen Treats:

It's insane, this half of the article had to be called 'Frozen Treats' because I can't say just ice-cream or just pops because there are so many different types of frozen Oreo concoctions. I'm not fucking kidding, it's goddamn beastly how many there are.. And aside from the obvious as seen above with the simple Oreo ice-cream of which there is also several different types made by several different companies literally all of which involve the Oreo name which means that Nabisco gets kick back for all of them - Do you really need more than one of the same thing out there under simply different names? Whatever.. Then you've got the fact that there are other treats such as Milk Shakes which everyone and their Mother has one of.

Hungry Jacks, Steak n' Shake, Arby's, Carl's Jr/Hardee's, Jack in the Box, 31 Flavours - Good lord there are a lot of them!

I mean fuck me sideways that's a lot of Milk Shakes! Why so many? Why is this biscuit so GODDAMN POPULAR!? Why did I suddenly start to love it!? And why are there even MORE products? - Milk Shakes not your style? Try a damn sandwich or a fucking bar pop!

STILL not enough? FUCK YOU THEN! You can have your Oreo and CAKE THE DAMN THINGS TOO! FROZEN 'YA BASTARDS!

GODS my head is SPINNING - How is it that Oreo has so many damn products? Nabisco is clearly marketing the Oreo in an attempt to take over the world - That delicious little biscuit is somehow so perfect that even if you hate them you're likely some day some how to be indoctrinated into loving them like I was.

All it took for me was being reunited with my beloved 'Kool Stuf' style Toaster Pastries in receiving the Cookies 'n Creme Pop-Tarts which were sent to me as a Birthday present and I, a stout and staunch hater of Oreo's began to love them.. Oreo's are addictive little bastards that no matter how bad they are for you are some how still so good - Damn them to Hell!

Dinner:

I can only hope that my cooking was actually up to par tonight as we had company and not just any company but company who comes from Korea, South Korea to be specific.

I was given the opportunity to work with some really nice cuts of salmon so that was nice and the meal had a good bit of effort put into it including the creation of a home-made teriyaki sauce sans the honey I usually use so I had to work with what I had.

Three plates in all, identical to the other so I only took one photograph, I reaaaally hope my cooking was truly good enough and was enjoyed, I think I was pretty proud of how the plates turned out - Fish is a very temperamental thing to cook after all.