Fast Food Horrors (Random Edition) & Flippin' Fish!

Fast Food Chains are places of unadulterated, uncompromising and unbelievable horror, this is a fact that I have displayed many times before and I will probably many times in the future. It's not out of spite that I do this, it's out of love; some horror needs to be pointed out to save others from it's wicked grasp.

Of course there are mascots like the unholy abominable aberration above, that's no surprise and really we already knew about the dangers of The King. Thankfully Hungry Jack's finally got wise and did away with this royally repulsive ruler.. What Hungry Jack's didn't do away with which other Fast Food Chains haven't done away with either? The terror of their menu monstrosities which we will touch upon today..

Gird your loins, boys and girls.. We're goin' in again..

Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt:

It's a bit ironic that a place called Friendly's serves something so monumentally unfriendly, this burger as a point of fact will fuck you up with just one. To say this thing scares the hell out of me is an understatement, you know.. Christians like using scare tactics to convert others to their religion, perhaps they should consider involving this in their wicked indoctrination in some way, shape or form?

And just so others won't claim 'you only provided one example, that's not all or even most Christians' let me point this out

Being able to provide two examples of evidence of the same thing is a bit more than coincidence

Let's go over the horrifying stats of this freak food;

1500 Calories
79 g Fat, 38 g Saturated Fat

Holy SHIT.

Destroy you from one? Man this would end you, it's ridiculous on a ridiculously ridiculous level and yes, that redundancy is acceptable and called for.

Ending this portion of the article I'll end it on a slightly humourous note and a way to make a point, I am not being unfair to Christians in my poking fun at them

Evidence speaks for itself.

Hungry Jack's Meat'normous:

Fucking hell, Hungry Jack's honestly, what's your problem?! You know if you kill your customers you won't make any money, RIGHT? You can't make money off dead consumers, that's a fact.. At least you can't legally.. Though I guess technically this sandwich should be illegal so it's questionable whether Hungry Jack's gives a shit enough to bother worrying about such frivolities.

Is it not bad enough that your breakfast sandwiches are generally unhealthy and unfriendly to begin with? You've got to go and make something so monumentally bad for you that it combines not one unhealthy breakfast sandwiches but three in a super sized portion?! The fuck? The stats on this beast are as follows,

730 Calories
47 g Fat, 17 g Saturated Fat

I really would take this as a joke if I weren't so convinced that Fast Food Chains care nothing for their customers health and actually aim to create the most incredibly unhealthy abominations known to man, why? Because they sell evidently.

This is disgusting though, I mean.. Wow.. Global Marketing Officer for Hungry Jack's is quoted as saying..

"Just when our customers thought breakfast couldn't get any bigger or tastier, the MEAT'NORMOUS™ allows us to give them yet another king-sized morning option," said Russ Klein, chief global marketing officer, Burger King Corporation. "We didn’t hold anything back. It's like an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet on a bun."

 ...No, you didn't hold anything back...

By the way, you shouldn't be proud of that..

Hungry Jack's Meatloaf Sandwich:

I have no stats for this thankfully because it's not around anymore but back in the 90s this monstrosity was known as the Hungry Jack's (Burger King for the U.S) Meatloaf Sandwich and I'm fairly certain that much like the Meat'normous and perhaps even worse that this sandwich was nothing kind to your waistline or your heart. Wanna die? Go eat regularly at Hungry Jack's and enjoy that Triple Bypass that will fail in a weeks time leaving you to die of several heart attacks at once.

This came out specifically in 1993 (FUCKING CHILL DOWN MY SPINE BIG TIME) and well.. Just.. Uhg.. All I can do is prove it existed, I really have nothing much to say about this one other than 'yuck' and 'thank all that's Holy it's gone'.

One Commercial!

Two Commercial!

Two Commercials! Ah-Ah-Ah!

Dinner:

I said I'd make up for it, my failed dinner the other night and I kept to my word! Take a look at this, Sakana no furai! (Fish Fry) a delicious dish that came out freakin' flawless! A nice piece of Fried Flounder topped by a Nori (toasted seaweed) and Mushroom Sauce, delicious Mashed Potatoes and Sweet Peas and an Anpan (Sweet Roll) filled with the inclusion of delightfully decadent Cinnamon Sugar Pop Corn! James really seemed to enjoy this meal and I believe it came out absolutely beautiful.

Dinner has been redeemed!