Remarkable Retro Rations 10

God I adore Retro shit, Retro shit simply offers itself up as the perfect hilarious fodder for most if not all situations and what others consider to be Retro I consider not to be so old so my definition of 'Retro' tends to be a bit farther back than the average person.

I mean really, that's just brilliant and perfect. A retro sign which couldn't work more flawlessly for hilarity. Awesome.

What's more the best shit seems to be in the past, at least from my perspective. I can't even count how many things I've loved in the past that have been unceremoniously discontinued and forgotten by time, it seriously bums me out to consider that fact.. At any rate let's go ahead and start on our first item!

Nestle Feast Bar:

The Nestle Feast is a Candy Bar from the 1970s which was interesting because not only did it feature Milk Chocolate and crunchy Kit-Kat like Biscuits but also Dried Fruit which is something that hasn't really been done in Chocolate and Candy Bars in the past really.

The bar ran from the 70s to early 90s largely in the U.K. but was available elsewhere in limited quantity. It's interesting that it was discontinued because the inclusion of Fruit with Chocolate has been proven to be fucking delicious I mean come on think about it, Raisinettes, Chocolate covered Strawberries & Cherries and other such Chocolate covered Fruit? Chocolate and Fruit just works, I can't imagine why then that this bar was done away with because with using Dried Fruit it's shelf life shouldn't have even been a problem.. Alas however, the Feast is passed.

This was an awesome Candy Bar. Truly incredible and truly remarkable.


Snickers Peanut Munch:

Another from the 1970s, Snickers Peanut Munch was a TRUELY FILLING Bar, this is the type of Candy Bar that you ate when you needed something substantial. The shit they claim today? Poppycock, bullshit and pretenders, they don't hold the substantial heft that the Snickers Peanut Munch held.

Higher density but somewhat comparable to Peanut Brittle the Snickers Munch was a bar that was largely comprised of Peanuts with the only other ingredients being sugar, butter, corn syrup, salt and soy lecithin. Interestingly enough as awesome as the Peanut Munch Bar was it still exists today and was not discontinued! Yay!

Today the bar is simply known as "Munch", it's the same basic Bar as it was back in the day and is still incredibly delicious and the best choice for when you're really hungry and want something with true heft that is really substantial and remarkable!

Hollywood Milkshake Bar:

A company formed in 1912, the Hollywood Confectionery Company was a company founded by Frank Martoccio in Hollywood, Minnesota, famous for the a Milkshake Bar which was somewhat like a Milky Way bar, but with a Malt flavour instead of only Chocolate flavour.

The Milkshake Bar surprisingly enough was introduced in 1927 and that's not all, a fact is that Frank Martoccio had also invented a synthetic coating for his candy bars to keep them from melting in warm temperatures and partly responsible for discovering the method of making a fluffy nougat for candy bars which was copied by Frank Mars for his Milky Way Bars.

Frankly if you ask me, Franks Milkshake Bars are superior to Milky Way, I mean think about how delicious Malt is.. Malted Milk Balls anyone? A staple of the snacking repertoire and incredibly delicious to boot!

In 1988 Hollywood Brands was acquired by the Leaf Candy Company, then later became part of The Hershey Company in 1996 of course thereby the Milkshake Bar is left long gone, a memory of a time past.

Alas poor Milkshake Bar, we hardly knew 'ye.

Dinner:

And tonight's offering was a nice Hanbagusuteki (Hamburger Steak), the way the Japanese usually eat it. It's beautifully grilled with lines up both sides though you can't see them due to the Blackberry Sauce which I home made for the dish and sits upon a bed of Pickled Steamed Rice with a side of Cinnamon Sugar Anpan (Sweet Roll)

James worfed this one down quite viciously. I'm proud of it because the steak was a bitch to cook and came out nicely even though it threatened and wanted to fall apart at every slight poke and prod.


Bonus:

We're sporting an example of yet another very groovy and retro looking package for Orbit gum, this one very much in the sense and theme of things. I like it quite a lot and I still feel like I'm trippin' balls looking at these packages.

What's their marketing department comprised completely of old Hippies from the '60s constantly blitzed out their skulls or something?

...Probably.. And that's fine because that's awesome.