Remarkable Retro Rations 11

I love Candy, I'm a health nut who works out every single day, I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do outside of brushing my hair and going to the bathroom is to immediately hop on the Stationary Bike and cycle for an hour at about 25-26 MPH consistently followed by 240 suspended sit ups and 44 pushups. My days lining up Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday are days that I go outside for half an hour and practice high-impact Shaolin Kung Fu as part of my routine. This goes on every day the same way over and over and I love it because it makes me feel good and makes me look sexy.

That's why it's so odd that I have such a strange love affair with food, what's stranger is my obsession with all things retro, shit that the kids and generations today know nothing about simply because it's too old. Not just food but shows.. I Love Lucy, Three's Company, the original Three Stooges, All in the Family, The Honeymooners, The Munsters, the original Addams Family and the like, all shows that I love that could probably be considered retro by today's standards and of course, yes, I love candy, food and retro edibles of all shapes, sizes and types and that's why I love doing these articles! It's something I'm passionate about, something I truly enjoy and something I have a ridiculous amount of trivia knowledge on.

So without further adieu, shall we delve into Remarkable Retro Rations 11? BANZAI!

Clark Double Bar:

This is the Clark Double Bar, the Clark Double Bar as the sign indicates used to be 10 cents U.S. and back in the day if you had 10 cents U.S., you were big pimpin' and heavy rollin'.. Not in such words of course but still..

This Bar is Necco’s version of the Butterfinger, a Crunchy Peanut Buttery Bar of Chocolaty goodness. Nothing about that sentence is wrong or does not belong, all of it is word for word perfect.

I have an odd love affair with Peanut Butter, I don't know why but Peanut Butter is my crack cocaine and I never have been able to explain the obsession. It's bad for me, it's packed full of a retarded amount of calories in a single spoon-full and it's often coupled with things that just make it all that much worse for me but for me Peanut Butter is a decadent and sinful indulgence that makes me feel as gooey as it is. Haha yeah, inappropriate, you knew we were going there.

It was David L. Clark who founded the Clark Company in 1886 and in 1911 the Clark Bar and well known Zagnut Bar were created, Zagnut being the basic Clark Bar but with the addition of Coconut basically. Yes, the Zagnut Bar is a higher level of crack cocaine for me but for the purpose of the article we're discussing the Clark Bar which is delicious in and of itself and certainly doesn't suffer for lack of decadence.

It's interesting to note that the Clark Bar now uses no artificial preservatives, flavours or colours - It's all natural, folks. That's right. Bad for you but better for you than some of the shite out there with names I can't even goddamn pronounce without having my tongue try to commit Seppuku. Take for instance the Butterfinger Bar;

Ingredients

SUGAR, GLUCOSE, PEANUTS, HYDROGENATED PALM KERNEL OIL, COCOA POWDER, MODIFIED MILK INGREDIENTS, MOLASSES, CORN FLAKES, SALT, SOYA LECITHIN, CORN STARCH, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOUR, TBHQ, CITRIC ACID, COLOUR.
MADE ON EQUIPMENT THAT PROCESSES PEANUTS/NUTS.

And I'm left to question what the fuck purpose exactly half of those damn ingredients serve? And what in the name of all that is Unholy and abominable is goddamn TBHQ? Sounds almost like Marijuana in which case, FUCK YEAH, BUTTERFINGER! Munchies and doob in one?! AWESOME! I'm gonna smoke me a Butterfinger!

...But I'm guessing that's not what it is so I'm just kind of freaked out by something listed as an ingredient that is JUST A BUNCH OF FUCKING LETTERS.


Violet Crumble:

Here we've got one folks in the U.S. won't recognize but Australians will! The Violet Crumble Bar is an Australian born Bar which was introduced by Hoadley's Chocolate LTD in 1913 and is a delicious little delight that is a crumbly Honeycomb Toffee center coated in creamy Compound Chocolate, Compound Chocolate being a less expensive form of Chocolate used for coating candy, it's a lower-grade Chocolate for lower-grade candies but is still good make no mistake though it's not good for you.. Big surprise there, right?

Whatever.

All in all the honeycomb is a little dry and the Chocolate is a little off in truth but the Violet Crumble is still a delicious offering and as many in the past have discovered and are sure to discover as time rolls on, the Violet Crumble makes an AMAZING topping for Ice Cream when shattered as intended and sprinkled on.

Yum yum!


Boston Baked Beans:

Now some think I'm weird for this but Boston Baked Beans have always been a favourite of mine, probably in truth has something to do with the whole Peanut Butter is a crack cocaine for me thing and the fact that these are candy coated peanuts.

Introduced in the early 1930s by The Ferrara Pan Candy Company, the little beans have been around for a pretty good time and are created using the cold panned candy process, a process which involves building the candy pieces individually such as with Peanuts, tossing them into revolving pans and adding flavour, colour and other ingredients. All said it is actually pretty interesting to see, the little beans are impressive little snacks.



Dinner:

Tonight's dinner was absolutely flawlessly beautiful and came out amazingly considering how difficult it is to cook skewered fish. This is Sakana no kushi (Skewered Fish) which is two fillets skewered and cooked through sitting upon a bed of Steamed Rice with Sweet Peas and Mushrooms, a Sweet and Salty Caramel Anpan (Sweet Roll) and a dish of home made Japanese Sweet and Sour Tartar Sauce.

Awesome.