Crazy Crunch 6

Yes, it's back! Back with a vengeance and this time the Cap'n is taking it personal!

...Well I don't know if he actually is or isn't, at least the Cap'n isn't getting another make-over like the Quaker Oats guy who was apparently made over as well even though no one can really tell because they cut like a single hair and made him lose a little weight. Is this supposed to be a 'friendlier' image? Because to me it just spells and smells like corporate bullshit and I dislike corporate bullshit more than I dislike an unfriendly image or even an unhealthy image..

You know it still doesn't change the fact no matter how much you 'alter' his original appearance in slight and virtually indistinguishable ways that he will always look like what I'd expect the Horror Slasher Villain to look like in a movie featuring some whack job Christian or Amish as the murderer. Seriously, this guy? Put a sickle in his hand and tell me you'd go out into a corn field with him.. You know you fucking wouldn't.. If you did you wouldn't be coming back.

Speaking of dumb ass, badly designed and named mascots though, getting back on the subject of Cap'n Crunch does anyone remember that older mascot for Crunch, Jean LaFoote?

Pardon but.. That guy looks seriously unhygienic, I think I see why they did away with him.. But y'know for a short period of time this nasty toe-jam havin' motherfucker actually had his own cereal.. Yes his own cereal.. A guy whose stats read and I quote;

Name : JEAN LaFOOTE

Age : UNKNOWN

Height : 5'5

Weight : 135 LBS.

Hobbies : DASTERDLY DEEDS

Greatest adventures : Trying to make my own Crunch; Trying to get Crunch; Eating Crunch

Yes he had his own cereal..

PS - Cap'n Horatio Crunch was born on Crunch Island in the Milk Sea. Crunch motherfuckin' Island in the Milk goddamn Sea. Jeez, yeah.. His life must have been hell, why would he want to sell this cereal? Do you have any clue what milk would do if it were a sea.. A sea exposed to constant sun-light and varying temperatures none of which were refrigerator temperatures? Oh god.. Chunky.. Fuuuuuck..


Jean LaFoote's Cinnamon Crunch:

Introduced in the mid 1970s Jean LaFoote's cereal was basically Cinnamon Toast Crunch except Cap'n Crunch branded and sold/marketed to us by an unhygienic bare-footed motherfucker described as 'dastardly', speaking of dastardly.. If some evil dick like Jean LaFoote was given his own cereal then why wasn't someone like say.. Dick Dastardly ever given his own cereal as well?

...Seriously like Dick Dastardly's Wacky Trap-O's or something, we could even have various marshmallows in different sorts of trap-related shapes and shit and maybe a Muttley piece for good measure as well. I wonder if anyone will actually get this reference or if I'll just be left feeling ashamed?

At any rate Jean LaFoote's Cinnamon Crunch wasn't bad and sadly it simply ran out of steam, I'm guessing lack-luster sales would be the excuse they'd give as to why they stopped making it or whatever but.. Yeah.. This was basically a Cinnamon Corn Flake and it was damn good.. Honestly I'd love to see it on the shelf again maybe perhaps sans the big-footed Jean LaFoote..

Ah who am I kidding? Give the dirty Frenchman another chance.




Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Creme Biscuits:

This is a cool offering from back in the 1960s, surprisingly yes, Cap'n Crunch as few know had not only Ice Cream but also Biscuits or as Americans know them 'Cookies', these were something else.. I mean really something else.

Peanut Butter Crunch in and of itself, the cereal is pretty fucking good. I mean myself, I'm a little whore for Peanut Butter as I've stated in the past and will no doubt state in the future; Peanut Butter is one of my few 'crack cocaine' type things, a weakness that I can't ever hope to overcome.

You know, I'll just state this. Peanut Butter is fucking awesome and never mind the fact that the Biscuit is branded 'Cap'n Crunch', you know as well as I do these biscuits tasted nothing like actual cereal, they tasted like damned Biscuits but you can't fault them for that.. When you add Peanut Butter or even 'Peanut Butter Creme' between two Sweet Biscuits you've got a winner no matter what. No exception.

...Right, well.. Except for maybe the flaming variety and even then you'd be hard pressed to try and convince me not to try and eat the fiery Peanut Butter delights.

Dinner:

Well balls.. I don't have pics today because although I made a very nice tasting dinner for James, a Japanese inspired Omelet with Japanese Red Sauce, Sausage, Mushrooms and Cheese it didn't exactly come out photogenic.. In faaact.. It was kind of flat out ugly and I'm a little ashamed of it to be honest, I wasn't careful enough in cooking/constructing it and didn't take into consideration a few things which left it looking somewhat sloppy and messy.

Still though James did verify that it was indeed delicious so it's not an entire loss just a partial loss.

Meh we all fail every now and then. That's to be expected and if we don't fail or screw up once every now and then how can we expect to grow or improve?