I recently did watch one such movie however and more specifically I was motivated to watch it because I wanted to watch the Rifftrax version and for those that don't know Rifftrax are downloadable audio commentaries featuring comedians Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbet otherwise better known as Mike J. Nelson formerly of Gizmondo Institute then of the Satellite of Love and Tom Servo as well as Crow T. Robot of the Satellite of Love from Mystery Science Theater 3,000. Rifftrax are typically fucking hilarious and this was no exception.
Watching the movie yielded what I expected, the movie was largely funny due to the Rifftrax commentary and it was packed full of your normal shite that I just can't get startled or scared by including the 'paranormal activity' which I'd largely considered to be very.. uninspired and.. boring.. It's like through most of the movie they were being haunted by the worlds most boring and uneventful ghost, little things that probably would scare the shit out of others if they happened to them in real life but really had no effect on me such as the door moving for instance on it's own..
"Every legend, moreover, contains its residuum of truth, and the root function of language is to control the universe by describing it."
At any rate, I don't know.. Having such happen to me it'd simply seem like the haunting was rather unsubstantial and inconsequential, so the ghost can move a door. Big fuckin' deal, it's a goddamn door, what's it gonna do, shut you in and mildly inconvenience or startle you by slamming it? There's not a lot you can really realistically expect from such activity that is very menacing.. And when questioned 'Oh but it could possibly do more', I'd respond simply with 'Then why doesn't it?', I'm of the opinion that the haunting through most of the film seemed rather benign and harmless.. Kind of reminded me of other ghosts..
It didn't really help the movies case when they predictably and 'mysteriously' are lead to find a burnt photograph in their attic and there begins some sort of attempt at plot which I really couldn't follow because it was a found footage film and even without the Rifftrax seemed to have little coherency to figure out what the fuck was going on from.
Aaaand that's where shit started to get real..
The 'Oh but it could possibly do more' got thrown right the fuck back in my face when not only did the victim of the movie begin sleep walking oddly (hinting at mild possession) but also suddenly was grabbed and forcefully jerked around. Now that I can get a little uncomfortable thinking about and I was happy because finally I was beginning to think that 'Alright, this is a little creepy' at least.
It got a tad more creepy when she wanted to leave, was freaking out and then suddenly ended up in bed in the movie and didn't want to leave, felt safe and thought everything would be okay.. Yeah.. Fuck off..
Aaaand that's where shit made me jump like a full foot back, nearly shit my pants and swallow my gum..
At the very goddamn end of the movie bitch gets jerked from her bed by nothing visible, dragged out of the room and into the darkness of the house followed closely in toe by her pursuing boyfriend that is trying to save her obviously. It's then that I should have begun to expect what was going to happen next and in fact I did expect a sudden 'shocker' moment which came in the form of her boyfriend, Micah being suddenly very violently being hurled into the camera followed by newly risen Little Miss Freaky-deak who proceeded to lean over his corpse, evidently eat him and grin happily at the camera.
And you know.. At first I was pissed off because I waited an entire movie for a single scare but the more I had time to process it and really rationalize and consider what had happened throughout the movie the more I began to think of the movie as genuinely fairly scary.
This isn't a bad one, it's not even a shocker. You need to see it from start to finish and think about it to truly appreciate it but for those who do and actually think about it and consider themselves in the situation this is a pretty freaky goddamn movie.
I'd give the normal movie 7.2/10 Big Cat Paws which is above average for any horror movie I'll ever review even if this is the first time and 9.2/10 for the Rifftrax. Frankly those guys added humour to the movie which while out of place was just too good to pass up and totally worth it.