Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

Wonka Ice Cream Review!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Retro Tie-In Cereals

NOTE: We're using the term 'retro' rather broadly for this article.

Throughout time and especially in the past there have been some pretty kick-ass examples of movie tie-in cereals.. Not always winners some were major losers but all were more interesting and bountiful than today's iterations, today there are barely any movie tie-in cereals whereas back a few years ago (about a decade or so) every movie and it's sister had a movie tie-in cereal.

I miss the movie tie-in cereals, they were often cheesy or just plain sucked, relying solely on the brand movie name they were peddling to sell, the cereals were plain and didn't have any real relevance to the actual movie but still.. It was a movie cereal and from time to time you had cereals that were worth it like the Pokemon cereal which actually had badly shaped attempts at Pokemon Marshmallows in the cereal. See, those were fun and those were worth it.

Back a little over a decade or so ago it was Ralston who was the big movie tie-in cereal producer, they introduced a great many movie tie-in cereals but sadly as a rule were typically not very impressive taste-wise or in being very unique.. One of which was the 1989 release;

Batman (1989 Film) Cereal:
Anyone that was cool back when this cereal was released got a box and everyone remembers it well because it came with a shitty but pretty awesome at the same time plastic coin-bank that looked like a bust of Batman.. Well, largely it was just flat-faced with a sticker but still.. It was a cheaply made premium that people actually wanted, the cereal itself? Eeeeh.. It was definitely a 'run of the mill' Ralston cereal and honestly making shit like this it's not really any wonder why they aren't around anymore, as novel as this cereal was it was just Honey Nut Corn Poofies, basically it was Cap'n Crunch without the Crunch Berries.

It wasn't that great but it wasn't that bad either, it was a movie tie-in cereal which offered a good premium and sold fairly well.

And James and I have always had an argument on the perfect vehicle for the zombie apocalypse, y'know.. I still stand by the 1989 Batmobile as being the perfect zombie apocalypse vehicle, check it's specs;

  • Length: 260.7 in
  • Width: 94.4 in
  • Height: 51.2 in
  • Wheelbase: 141.0 in
  • Wheels: Cast alloy, 15 × 6.5
  • Tires: High aspect L60-15
  • Acceleration: 0-60 in 3.7 seconds
  • Maximum Speed: 330 mph with booster
  • Engine: Jet Turbine
  • Fuel: High octane; 97% special (gasoline paraffin mixture)
  • Torque: 1750 lbf.ft at 98.7% ROS
Not only this but most of it's features including the Browning goddamn Machine Guns under the hood flaps were fully functional and could actually be utilized realistically. At least except for the grappling hook and 'shields', still though. This thing was low to the ground, the perfect plow, fast and compact. Very maneuverable and very well protected all things considered.. Plus the motherfucker is armed!

 This brings us to our next cereal which interestingly enough is another Ralston movie tie-in cereal;

The Addams Family Cereal (1991 Film):
Yes, we all remember the 1991 Addams Family movie. You know it's sad too because I recognized the motherfucker playing Gomez Addams from the get-go as someone who played the lead role in a rather horrible movie featured in MST3K called 'Overdrawn at the Memory Banks', he's Raúl Rafael Juliá y Arcelay (Yes that's his full name) and he sadly died shortly after playing Gomez Addams, suffering a stroke and passing away in 1994. 

Nevertheless, The Addams Family was a pretty good film adaptation in my personal opinion as strange as some of the cast was they all seemed to work fairly well and played their parts fairly well as well.. Well.. Uhnhnn.. Fuck.. 

Y'know you've got to love a cereal with the slogan "the creepy, crunchy cereal with the great taste you'll scream for", that's just plain and flat out awesome. Skulls and other "ghostly" shapes were what this cereal consisted of, sadly no marshmallows or anything because that would have really helped this cereal as I recall it tasting rather like Honeycomb and Kix except a little more bland as typically was the case with cereals made by Ralston as has been mentioned.. Evidently their definition of 'flavour' was a lack thereof..

"♫♪The Addams Family ceeereeaaal♫♪" snap snap!

Tonight's dinner for James was Yaita Shiromisakana (Baked White Fish) and is a delicious White Fish baked in a home-made Oriental White Sauce which comes on a bed of Steamed Rice with a side Double Chocolate Anpan (Sweet Roll)

All in all pretty good dish and James quite enjoyed it so I'm happy.

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