Screaming Yellow Zonkers! REVIEW!

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Sunday, May 20, 2012

REVIEW: Extra Dessert Delights Root Beer Float Gum


...Yep.. That's how we're starting it, basically with me screaming at you because my blog post title is reaaally long.. But to be fair 'Extra Dessert Delights Root Beer Float Gum' is like.. Ridiculous.. But you know what? Now that this exists I wonder if I can technically use this in Scrabble because fuck me.. That's just unfair if I can... That and I don't think that the whole title would even fit on a Scrabble board.

I've got one rule in response to gum, that rule is no matter what the gum is, never swallow;

And I've also reviewed and posted in the past about other Soda Chewing Gum and more than just once as well, I've also posted many times about specifically Dessert Delight Gum, I won't pull up all the links because I've reviewed all the flavours from Strawberry Shortcake, to Apple Pie and even Key Lime, I've done and reviewed all the Dessert Delights Gum which can be found on this blog by searching.. That said I'm now about to review a new entry into the Dessert Delights line up, a flavour that was chosen by popular vote on Facebook;

Frankly between Bananas Foster and Lemon Square I would have chosen Bananas Foster as my top pick, Lemon Square as my second and Root Beer Float? Ehh... It's not something I'd really have chosen of my own free-will unless it were my last remaining choice.. That seemed not to be the case with the majority however as Root Beer Float was chosen and well.. You can guess what that leaves me with to review..

You know I bet you thought I lost my train of thought but I didn't, going to my earlier mentioning of my one rule of gum, never to swallow I'm going to have a really hard time with this I think because so far the Dessert Delights Gum has managed to replicate their claimed flavours pretty well and a Root Beer Float is a drink, I'm really going to want to swallow this shit I'm guessing.. God damn it.. Why you gotta go and fuck with my head like this, Extra? Really you make me fear chewing your gum because I'm certain I'll morph into some mutated Root Beer Float or Strawberry or Blueberry or maybe even Snozzberry and now you're making a chewing gum from a drink? Fuuuck.

Let's get to the tasting.. Gotta get this out of the way and I've got to admit, I'm a little apprehensive about doing this.. Here we go though.. First time I've ever been unsure whether I wanted to taste a gum or not..

First things first, I genuinely smell Root Beer and Vanilla as I take these out of the package, the smell is quite strong in fact and I'm rather impressed by that. What a fucking unexpected blast of aroma!

Second now is the actual taste test.. Right away I'm hit by the flavour of Root Beer which is a little weak but clearly there and very sweet, it's not like Root Beer I've tasted before, it's kind of more muted and far more sweet but it's not bad and it's definitely Root Beer. The Vanilla flavour is surprisingly less pronounced than it's scent would imply but that's the same for the Root Beer flavour too, the flavours are however not bad.. They're rather well balanced and done and come together to create a kind of Root Beer Cream flavour rather than Root Beer Float, frankly I find it surprisingly pleasant and as I chew it's notable there's the sensation as I swallow my flavour laden saliva that I might be drinking something and a little bit of a spice in the mix which is nice.

The chew on the gum is interesting, it's a little more 'rubbery' than I expected which I like because I enjoy 'rubbery' gums better than I do soft and pliable ones, it also seems to be holding it's flavour rather well as I haven't noticed any real change in the flavour aside from a certain 'warmth' I've come to associate with the taste of Root Beer having coated my tongue and mouth making them feel a little warm and a little numb, still a very pleasant sensation.

Okay come quite a while into chewing and I'm sick of waiting, this shit seems to be rather impressively holding onto it's flavour, colour me genuinely surprised. Although the flavours gotten a little weaker, it's definitely still there and definitely still strong enough to be quite enjoyable. I had not expected this, I had expected the flavour to fade rather quickly as with some of the other flavours in the Dessert Delights line but this one? Nope.. Still there..

EDIT: Added in more than an hour after I started chewing and there is still flavour in this goddamned gum. WHAT THE FUCK?! This shit can't be natural!

So I'm going to end the review here and state that Extra Dessert Delights Root Beer Float Gum gets a score of 8.0/10 Big Cat Paws, it'd get higher but it's not one of the two flavours I'd have preferred to have been made and yes, I am that fickle but so far I'll say this is probably my favourite out of all the Dessert Delights gums, I think I've found my new crack cocaine in chewing gum..

By the way, this gum is brown. Aesthetically slightly disturbing for gum but whateveHURK.. Fuck.. I think I just swallowed it..

Tonight's dinner is a new one for James, it's Uri Niwatori (Melon Chicken) and is a gorgeously grilled Chicken BOOOOOOB! topped by a delicious home-made Sweet and Sour Melon Sauce with two sides of a Steamed Rice bowl and a wonderful Mint Chocolate Anpan (Sweet Roll)

James really seemed to enjoy this and I think it's super pretty so yay.


 As a random discussion today came to death and suicide, I had a thought that I'd like to share with everyone and that thought is as follows; if ever I should decide to commit suicide, I shall do it in style, something that will be remembered like climbing into the local Zoo's bear exhibit, walking up calmly to a big grizzly and proceeding to punch that motherfucker square in the nose and fist fight with it until either I'm dead or it's dead.

I'm assuming I'd be the one that was dead but if by some freak turn of events I managed to beat a grizzly bear in a fist fight I'm fairly certain the police might drop charges and just let me go.. I mean.. Are you going to tell someone who wins a fist fight with a fucking bear that they're under arrest?

...Yeah.. Bullshit..

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