I've stated it in the past. I like nothing better than going to Walgreen's and being lucky enough to find not just a great deal but an amazing deal, you know the type. When you walk into a place like Walgreen's and you find something that is ordinarily something like $3.00USD a pop selling for some insanely low price like $0.50USD - It doesn't happen often but when it does it's absolutely unbelievably amazing and it makes me feel like I've achieved something simply inconceivable.. I often wonder after finding such a deal if I'll ever find another like it ever again, y'know?
Such was the case last year when we went to Walgreen's after Easter of that year finding many Candies and Chocolates that were being cleared out and sold at increasingly insanely low prices because well.. The stock couldn't sit there until next Easter and it had to go.. Well, I guess it could sit there just that they wouldn't let it.. I mean I've had this Chocolate Bar since last year, I've managed to preserve it fine and there's no reason that anyone else wouldn't be able to, especially a big chain store like Walgreen's.
The Chocolate Bar I got? A Ferrara Bar which is a fancy-ass imported Belgian Chocolate Bar that typically costs around $3.00USD like the Lindt Chocolate I recently got, in other words.. It's ritzy expensive shit that I never get except I got a fist-full of these for $0.50USD each.. Why? I do not know! They lasted this long and I've had them for over a years time and they still hadn't gone bad so I can't fathom why a store would sell them so below their suggested retail but whatever, I don't question deals like these.. I just indulge in them..
Ferrara Pan is the company that makes this fancy-ass Chocolate Bar and is a company that was founded in 1908, the same company which makes Candies like Boston Baked Beans, Red Hots, Sour Balls and Lemon Heads.
This Chocolate definitely felt fancy, the actual box itself is a very nice shiny foil-type cardboard which shines a beautiful gold that just feels.. Eh.. I don't know, I felt like I shouldn't eat it.. Like I should preserve it and put it on display because I just don't get things like this that often and eating it I knew it would be gone eventually and I had no clue when and if I'd ever see one again.. Then I opened it and the feeling was a bit stronger because god damn it.. The inside is just as fancy-pants pretty as the damned outside.
The first thoughts to run through my mind? 'You fuck with me', really? The Chocolate Bar not only has a fancy foil cardboard shiny gold packaging but also the inside is lovingly sealed in a vacuum pack plastic gold wrapper that has little imprints of the Ferrara Pan logo stamped on it making it look 'official' or like it should belong in King Arthur's Round Table or something because this is the fancy shit a King or Queen would eat.. At least in my mind.. I realize my view on what is 'fancy' and 'expensive' is a bit skewed by the standards of some others but that's what I get for being a 'ghetto' and 'poor' person all my life.. Frankly I think it made me a good person but that's me..
So already I'm pretty blown away, this things packaging makes me feel like I don't deserve it and frankly that kind of makes me feel very strange because now I feel as if I'm some female equivalent of Charlie Bucket opening that last Wonka Bar I can afford and knowing that when this is gone there's nothing else coming.. This is it..
...Fucking lack of Golden Ticket by the way.. It feels like there should be something in here, give me some cheaply produced gold foil that has some message on it or something, it would just fit damn it.. And it'd make me feel so much better.. I don't know why or how, it just would..
Aaanyway.. Getting to the actual Chocolate Bar, I couldn't bring myself to just rip the plastic wrapping apart even though I knew I was going to throw it away later, I was inclined and compelled to unwrap it carefully, leaving it as in tact as possible.. It just felt proper.. And I did it with my fucking pinkie extended too because I was going to have me some proper fancy shit motherfucker, y'heard? AIGHT!
Opening the thing it seems the Chocolate Bar had fared the year+ rather well, the only thing vaguely perceivable that may or may not have been a result of it sitting for so long is that the Chocolate itself appeared a little powdered.. Is this intentional? Do new ones look like this? Is this just mine? Is it because it's old?! THE QUESTIONS NEVER STOP AND ARE NEVER ANSWERED! FUUUUUCK THE VOICES IN MY OWN MINDS EYE ARE NO HELP WHATSOEVER!!!!
...Aaanyway again.. The taste?
These little bastards are good, I mean orgasm good. This is Belgian Milk Chocolate and when someone says Belgian Milk Chocolate, especially Imported Belgian Milk Chocolate the instant thought that comes to my mind is 'I'll never have it', well.. I've had it.. And after having it? I will forever associate Belgian Milk Chocolate with visions of cascading warm water rushing over my body as I'm wracked by an orgasm that shatters the very earth underneath me. Goddamn.
By the way to those that may read this that are or are like family, sorry for that image.. For those of you that read this that aren't.. You're welcome..
To say this is good Chocolate is like saying grilling is an American past-time, this shit is synonymously Chocolate, it's fancy and I definitely picture a King or Queen eating something like this, this stuff is amazing.
It literally melts in your mouth in a way that other Chocolate just isn't capable of, the first few chews send the warm rush of Chocolate goodness throughout your mouth, distributing it in a creamy mess all over, it's amazing.. It's just sweet enough and so silky smooth that I was hesitant to swallow it.. When I did? My god.. It just slowly slid down my throat and provided that feeling the whole way down, I was somewhat frightened that by swallowing it I was risking some sort of Chocolate conception but as of yet I've birthed no Chocolate spawn which is both a good thing and a bad thing in different ways..
Good because I'd be a horrible Mother in that I'd be horribly abusive to a child and well.. There's also that if it was a Belgian Chocolate child I'd fucking eat it and bad because.. Well.. I didn't birth Chocolate spawn that I could then ruthlessly devour in a savage display of animalistic viciousness.
Ferrara Imported Belgian Chocolate Bars get 9.8/10 Big Cat Paws.
Holy balls these were good!
Might not be super pretty but I'm alright with it, it's difficult to make something like this look particularly impressive so I'm happy with it just looking good.